Posted on: Friday, October 1, 2004
KISSES AND MISSES
He is her loving debit card
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By Tanya Bricking Leach
Advertiser Relationship Writer
Dear Tanya: Lately I have had a nagging suspicion that my girlfriend of one year is using me for only financial support. We recently graduated from college on the Mainland. My girlfriend's family and I are from Hawai'i, but she isn't. She just moved here about a month and a half ago. I have a pretty decent-paying job and a new car — not bad for a college graduate. When my girlfriend moved here, we decided to get puppies. But she seems more interested in the puppies than with me. She doesn't want to go out. When I try to kiss and hold her, she turns away and says it's too hot to be touched.
— UNREQUITED LOVE
I mean today.
Now.
Don't wait around on this.
It may seem to you like a nagging suspicion that's she's using you. But the way I see it, it is crystal clear that she is completely taking advantage of you.
Plus, she might already be cheating on you with this "fling."
Plus, she doesn't have a job, and she's counting on you for support.
(Are you married? No. What's stopping her from putting her college degree to use? She needs to find a job and pay her own way in this world.)
Plus, she shows you no love or appreciation. She doesn't even want you to touch her.
Plus, you are 22 with a new job and a new car. Why hang on to a girlfriend who sounds as if she's going to break up with you if you don't do it first?
You have everything going for you except a girlfriend who treats you the way you deserve to be treated.
How many reasons do you need?
Break up.
The bigger question here: Who will get to keep the puppies?
Need advice on a topic close to the heart? Write to relationships writer Tanya Bricking Leach at Kisses and Misses, The Advertiser, P.O. Box 3110, Honolulu, HI 96802; or e-mail kissesandmisses@honoluluadvertiser.com.
She also had a fling last summer with a family friend. She says they want to hang out, but I am getting in the way. I gave her an ultimatum three weeks ago to either be with me or with him, and ever since, we haven't been talking as much. I just feel like ever since she got what she wanted, I have been let go ever so slowly. I am 22 years old and am trying to establish myself professionally. She doesn't have a job and is assuming I will do all the supporting. Should I stay in this relationship to tend to her or should I try to establish myself?
Will they wed?
A man's girlfriend says she'll marry him after her teenage son is out of the house. Trouble is, the son is taking his time moving on. Should the boyfriend wait it out? Vote in our weekly poll at here.
That's easy: Get out of this relationship as fast as you can.
