Another writes in his blog about wild gatherings and uses language that would make his grandmothers blanch.

That last one would be this writer's son.

Clicking away, today's teenagers use made-up screen names and random blog logins, thinking that protects their online anonymity. It doesn't.

"Anything you put online, imagine putting on a giant billboard on a superhighway," says Parry Aftab, executive director of nonprofit WiredSafety.org.

This perceived virtual cloak of invisibility is creating a host of new problems — from online bullying to unfortunate broadcasting of things best left unsaid to intimate blogs that can draw sexual predators. That, in turn, is drawing national attention to problems that many parents didn't know they had.

How do we teach our young bloggers cyberethics? If we can't filter out all the bad stuff through Internet parental controls, we can teach them to use the filter between their ears, Aftab said.

Blog pluses

Girls at Sacred Hearts Academy said the whole point of cybercommunities popular with Hawai'i bloggers today is to communicate with your friends, not your parents.

"You want it to be private," said Rachel Magaoay, a 15-year-old sophomore. "Otherwise, it's like they're spying on you. (We want a place) that's just for us."

Yes, blogs can be used for good. But they can also be used for evil, including the increasingly evident phenomenon of online bullying, especially at the middle-school and elementary-school level, Aftab said.

Blog minuses

Kids can be mean. Kids with technology can be devastating. One New York Times story tells of a Bronx girl who last spring sent a sexually explicit video to a boy she had a crush on. The file soon showed up on a music file-sharing network.

"Hundreds of New York private-school students saw the video, in which the girl's face was clearly visible," the Times reported. "It was available to a worldwide audience of millions."

There's a host of ways to bully online, from putting comments on someone else's blog to hacking into passwords and leaving nasty comments on other sites using the pilfered name.

One new ways is to "bully by proxy," having someone else post your cruel comments. Another is to purposely flame (insult) or provoke someone, then alert the instant-messaging manager when the target responds in kind. In this "notify war," someone can get kicked off the server.

Big blogging minuses

Some of this seems minor. Let's look at the scary stuff. More teens are exploring their sexuality online. Aftab cited a 1999 survey of 10,800 girls in which 60 percent of those ages 13 to 16 said they had engaged in cybersex.

"In real life, girls between those ages, even innocent ones, might play at this," she said. "What happens is, when they get online and play, think it's even more innocent. But it's more dangerous. You never know when sexual images are going to end up on pedophiles' (radar)."

Students agreed there are scary things out in cyberspace.

On MySpace.com, a popular site for those 18 and older, suggestive postings are common, local teens say.

Many younger teens not only have MySpace sites, but post pictures. When users post a comment on someone else's blog, their photo pops up — for better or worse.

"It is 'ewww,' especially when you see the picture of a 30-year-old guy who wants your number," said 14-year-old Megan Agliam, a sophomore at Sacred Hearts.

MySpace sites from Hawai'i show people are not afraid to get suggestive with their pictures. Girls are seen in various stages of undress, boys in provocative poses, and groups appearing to engage in sexual activities.

What parents can do

"Unless we teach our children to use the filter between our ears, we're out of luck," Aftab said. "It's all about responsible surfing. (We need to) get parents involved in what their kids are doing."

The else can parents do? Don't panic and use common sense.

"Parents don't need to understand a whit about technology. Most parents have everything they need," Aftab said. "The stuff they were taught, such as, 'Don't take candy from strangers.' 'Come straight home.' 'Don't lie.' 'Don't steal.' Those all apply in cyberspace."

Don't let your kids wander around aimlessly on the Web. Teach them to not take things from strangers. If they don't know people offline, they're strangers. And the moment the conversation turns creepy, sign off.

Aftab boiled it down to: Don't do anything online that you wouldn't do offline.

What teachers can do

Imagine a high school cafeteria without any adults.

"The danger comes when agents in schools that keep them from harm aren't there," said Kimberly Clissold, a former high school dean now studying for her doctorate in educational policy studies at UH-Manoa. In her three years as dean, Clissold dealt with several cases of cyberethical breaches, including online bullying.

"The danger is, sometimes what people might say face to face may turn into something much more nasty when they're not face to face," she said.

When teachers and school administrators find their way into the underground cyberspace communities, they've discovered young people flaming each other and even teachers with nasty comments posted on Web sites. In Hawai'i, there have been at least two cases of this, involving different schools, and several suspensions and disciplinary actions. The teens we interviewed said they suspected there were many more.

School officials must determine if an incident is just a "conflict between two or more students, or has it turned into a situation of bullying or harassment? When IM-ing (instant messaging) is going on, there's quite a ready trail to show you," Clissold said.

Teachable moments

Private schools have more leeway to take action when it comes to blogging. Clissold laughs as she recalls logging on to explore the backlash after one disciplinary episode.

She found the girl and pulled her aside. At first, the girl couldn't believe she'd been found out.

"I told her, 'I think it's fantastic,' " then went on to explain responsible freedom of speech. The exchange became one of those "interesting teachable moments," Clissold said.

Integrity, as someone once said, is when you do the right thing, even when no one is watching.

"It's that very same thing that allows kids to cyberbully each other, engage in cybersex, post naked images to others," Aftab said. "What would you do if no one knew it was you? Would you cheat on your taxes? Walk into Tiffany's and steal? How much self-control is in place?"

Aftab's organization has started a Teen Angels campaign, with several Mainland chapters, to create "cybercitizens," teen leaders who are trained by experts and the FBI to lead the way for anti-piracy and responsible cyberrelationships. Next year, they plan to hold a conference at Stanford University and offer intensive cybercitizen training.

The stakes are high, Aftab said.

"Unless we can teach the kids cyberethics, how to use good judgment online, we're going to lose this whole generation — and the ones after," she said.

Reach Mary Kaye Ritz at mritz@honoluluadvertiser or 525-8035.