"A lot of people I know, they always talk about it," said the McKinley High peer educator, 16. " ... I think a lot of girls and guys feel, like, cool if they do it."

"It," as in, "having sex." Through high school hallways, in the cafeteria and locker rooms, between classes and after school — conversations about sex prevail, teens say.

"Most of the people I know, they're very open about it," said Hirabara's classmate, Devin Santos, 16. "It's not one of those things where everybody's like, 'Shhh, don't talk about it.' "

Studies and surveys show a sizable percentage of teens will be sexually active before they graduate from high school. But the research also shows that teens may not be as sexually active as the media portray them to be — or as they imagine each other to be. Parents and counselors work in this gap between rumor and reality, hoping to encourage teens to make wise choices, and to protect themselves.

There's no question that "it" is out there, in the public consciousness.

Hit TV show "The O.C.," about the glamorous lives of hormone-ravaged high schoolers, provides one high-profile example. The show premiered last fall. During the first season, one teen gets pregnant; several "hook up."

Earlier this year, an issue of Seventeen magazine featured a sex Q&A, in which 17-year-old "Jessica" from Pennsylvania seeks advice on how to achieve an orgasm: "My boyfriend feels bad — we don't know what to do," she writes.

In another issue of the teen mag, "Jerel," 15, of Alabama — dubbed the "Jerk of the Month" — brags about using a girl for sex, then moving on to another conquest: "All players do that, especially in summer, 'cause that's when girls start wearing less clothes."

Pop music is drenched in sexual reference. Beyoncé Knowles — barely out of teenhood and a role model for many young girls — gets a little freaky in her hit, "Naughty Girl." She opens the song with enticing words: "I'm feelin' sexy. I wanna hear you say my name, boy. If you can reach me, you can feel my burning flame."

Hirabara and Santos noted an even nastier tune popular among their peers: Kevin Lyttle's dance-hall and R&B groove "Turn Me On," a hit song this year that makes Miss Knowles' hit seem like a nursery rhyme. Lyttle sings: "Got the python, hollerin' for mercy, yea hey, ai, then I whisper in her ear. ..."

Despite all the heat, however, national and local statistics suggest all this talk about teens gone wild may be as much smoke as fire. The percentage of high school students having sex declined from 54 percent of all teens in 1991 to 46 percent in 2001, according to a study done by Child Trends, a nonprofit, nonpartisan research center.

Devin Santos and Alexis Hirabara, both 16, are students of April Nakamura's peer-education class at McKinley High School.

Whatever the case may be, teens and parents have their take on the issue.

At a roundtable discussion about teen sexual activity in June, a group of students, all McKinley High School seniors ages 17 and 18, were asked how many of their peers were sexually active.

"Everybody!" several voices called out.

With a nonchalance that would make many parents squirm, the 10 students talked openly — and comfortably — about the sexual beliefs and behaviors of their peers. All spoke to The Advertiser with their parents' permission.

When students at her school have sexual encounters and talk about it with their friends, they get attention, said Ann Gottling, one of the round-table participants: "Everyone wants to hear about it."

Alexis Hirabara, shown here walking with classmate Devin Santos at McKinley High School, believes abstinence is "cool."

Such openness among classmates can mean added sexual pressure.

"Sex is not only accepted, it's even in some cases encouraged, because a lot of (people) will be talking about it at lunch or on breaks, and they'll encourage people to do it," Gottling said.

Honolulu resident Kenneth May, father of an 18-year-old daughter, acknowledges the pressure these teens are talking about.

Putting himself in a teen's place, he noted, "The more people you hear about it from, the more you wonder, 'Maybe I should be doing this, too.' "

Media influence

While peer pressure is a factor for early sexual activity, pop culture — particularly TV, movies and music — is believed to play a significant role, a study by the American Academy of Pediatrics found.

"The average American adolescent will view nearly 14,000 sexual references per year, yet only 165 of these references deal with birth control, self-control, abstinence, or the risk of pregnancy or STDs," the report states.

A perfect example: The raunchy "American Pie" films, said Travis Tamura, who graduated from Punahou School this year. The trilogy follows a group of high schoolers and their sexual adventures through early adulthood.

"A lot of teenagers feel that since they (the characters) have sex, that we should be having sex too," Tamura said. "People won't admit it, that they're influenced by it, but it has an influence."

Adolescents age 12 to 17 who viewed more sexual content on TV were more likely to initiate intercourse and progress to more sexual activities during the subsequent year, according to a separate report released last month by the academy.

Steamy images on the big and small screens aren't the only problems. The American Academy of Pediatrics reports sexual messages are becoming more explicit in musical lyrics as well.

"There is something about music which, of course, appeals to all of these sensual parts of our brains. And there's something about being a teenager that biologically is giving you all of these sexuality messages," said Robert Thompson, professor of pop culture, via telephone from Syracuse University in New York. "You put those two together and I think it's always going to be a match — all kinds of heat and flames will be generated by it."

"People have conflicting views on sex, 'cause, like, with media and everything, they're seeing that sex is OK, but like, in school and with parents, they're getting a different vibe," said Jamie Fujimoto, who also graduated from Punahou this year. "I think a lot of people feel pressured about it."

The American Academy of Pediatrics added that such sexual messages contain unrealistic, inaccurate and misleading information that young people accept as fact.

Experts are concerned about this, because unless teens get clear direction from parents and community — teachers and other role models — they may accept the pop culture imagery as what's "real" and should be emulated.

Changing attitudes

The past decades have shown a reversal in the trend toward sexual experimentation and promiscuity connected with the '60s, said Keli'i Akina, executive director of Youth for Christ Hawai'i.

"Teenagers have been increasingly adopting conservative values with respect to personal behavior, in terms of drug usage, sexual practice and other dangerous behaviors," said Akina, who was referring to research reported by the Gallup Poll News Service.

Media images contrast with Gallup Youth Survey findings, which show teens moving toward a more conservative view of premarital sex, Gallup reported.

About half (49 percent) of teens in the 13 to 15 age category feel that sex before marriage is morally wrong, while 32 percent of 16- to 17-year-olds hold that view. The numbers have increased since a similar 1977 Gallup survey, when the numbers were 32 and 28 percent, respectively.

Abstinence is the way to go, Akina argues.

"Sexual purity is the only foolproof way to avoid getting a sexually transmitted disease or an unwanted pregnancy," Akina said.

It also fosters dignity and respect for one's self and other people, he said. "A third reason ... is that the practice of sexual purity allows a young person to participate in the great moral and religious traditions of the world."

Alexis Hirabara, the McKinley junior, said abstinence is "cool."

"I don't think people should have sex until they're married," Alexis said. "That's what I believe."

A religious family, the Hirabaras of Nu'uanu talk openly about the importance of practicing abstinence.

"I'm strongly against abortion," said Alexis' mother, Jeannie, 56, a legal assistant. "I did tell her, if she gets pregnant, her whole life will be altered taking care of this baby ... Also, we are Christians, and I try to instill in her that having sex before marriage is really not acceptable."

Fujimoto, the recent Punahou graduate, called abstinence admirable.

"I think people (who practice abstinence) think that sex is a really sacred thing and they should save it for marriage," Fujimoto said. ... "Good for them. More power to them."

May's daughter, Ieschia, also shares the respect. "Can you imagine being pressured by all these other students in high school and you're standing your ground and say, 'No, I'm not going to do it?' So I give them props."

Sex ed

The reduction of teen pregnancy is the goal for the state Department of Education's 16-lesson sexual education curriculum, "Reducing the Risk: Building Skills to Prevent Pregnancy, STD & HIV," said Catherine Kawamura, a state peer education resource teacher.

Nearly 30 public high school teachers participated in a two-day training session in March — another will be held in January — on this abstinence-based curriculum. "That means we focus on abstinence, but we can cover contraceptives and other choices," Kawamura said.

This approach recognizes that many teens will engage in sexual activity during their high school years. Topics covered included teen pregnancy, self-esteem, assertiveness skills, ways to say no to sexual advances and sexually transmitted diseases, including HIV and AIDS.

The grade levels in which sex education is taught at public schools vary, but teaching on the topic usually starts in grade school, said April Nakamura, the peer education program coordinator at McKinley.

"Maybe in sixth grade, they could start learning about what a healthy relationship should be like, but not necessarily the physical part," Nakamura said. "When you talk about a healthy relationship, you're indirectly encouraging abstinence and that way, you don't make a lot of kids who are really far from it uncomfortable."

Nakamura said she thinks students should start learning about contraceptives and protection in the seventh or eighth grade.

"At the high school level, we cover all the birth control contraceptives in depth, as it should be," Kawamura said.

At Iolani School, ninth-graders take a mandatory class called Life Skills, which includes a health unit and sex education. The class covers various birth control methods, but abstinence is highly encouraged, said school spokeswoman Cathy Lee Chong.

"Hopefully the students talk about and realize that the best choice is abstinence," Chong said. "It has the best emotional and physical consequences for all parties involved."

Being informed is crucial, but the real message for teens is that they should wait, Nakamura said.

"You can have a relationship and not be physically involved or not have sexual intercourse until you really are ready," she said.

Shantel Botelho, a McKinley round-table participant, said sex is "so sacred and special that you should wait."

"You don't need to have sex to survive or do well in life because a lot of kids think that it's a need, like you need to have it," Botelho said. "It's not something that sets your social standing."

Still, teens acknowledge that many of their high school peers are sexually active and will probably continue their ways.

Hirabara said she knows of many juniors and seniors in her school who are sexually active. Out of 100 students in her junior class, "probably a little over half" are having sex, Hirabara said.

Parental involvement

Sex education shouldn't be limited to the classroom, said Ancog, the pediatrician. It's something that should be discussed at home, too. (See guidelines, above right).

"And the younger, the better," said Charish Mariano-Torres, one of the teen round-table participants from McKinley. "The more you learn when you're younger, you'll remember what they teach you, and then you'll think twice about your actions when you're older."

"Yeah," agreed Gottling, "and that's the time when you want to listen to your parents, too."

Kevin Santos, father of Devin, the McKinley junior, said when he started to talk to his son about sexual topics, "nothing was really off-limits."

"From when he was a little kid, I used to talk to him about a lot of adult issues, so that when he got older, there wasn't a big gap between what he learned," said Santos, a district manager, 35, of Makiki.

Mariano-Torres said she has always been able to talk to her mother, Dee Dee Mariano, about anything.

"Before I go out, my mom always says, 'Don't have sex, 'cause you'll make a mistake and get pregnant,' " Mariano-Torres said. "She usually gives me the whole 'birds and bees' and protection talk."

Mariano, 38, has four daughters in their teens and early 20s.

"I had my first child when I was 17," said Mariano, a homemaker from Salt Lake. "That's why I talk to the girls openly."

Mariano discourages her girls from having sex at an early age, but that doesn't stop her from discussing everything from birth-control pills and condoms to being with the right guy and the outrageous cost of diapers.

"We talk about anything," Mariano-Torres said.

Ieschia's father, Kenneth May, a 36-year-old engineer, also believes that knowledge is power.

"You're not going to be able to stop someone if they really want to do something, so the best thing is to inform them," he said.