Andrew had plans to accept a wrestling scholarship to a Mainland college. Jeremy was going to study culinary arts at home. But once they graduated, the two talked about going into business together, maybe opening a restaurant.

On the night of the accident, April 12, 2001, Sam remembers seeing Jeremy's parents at the hospital. Both families had gotten the late-night phone call from a friend of the boys who saw what happened on Kaukonahua Road.

"I see them in my vision all the time, going from one hospital to another, not knowing what happened. The confusion. The events of that night, I will never forget."

First they went to Queen's, thinking the boys would be taken there. Then they were told to go to Wahiawa General. It was a long ride.

"We thought maybe there were injuries, some broken bones," says John Tolentino, Jeremy's dad. "We weren't expecting the worst."

At Wahiawa General, Sam asked to see his son. He was told to wait. It took a while for him to figure out that Andrew wasn't there. Sam saw a police officer that he recognized.

"I asked him if Andrew wasn't here, is he at the scene of the accident? He told me yeah. At that moment, I knew that he had passed."

Sam asked the officer to take him to the scene.

"All I can remember was it was like the world stood still. I saw the car. I saw a child still in the car. I saw a child in the road. No one had to say anything. I just knew which one was my son. I walked straight to the one on the road. I said my goodbyes."

Three boys died that night: Andrew Delos Reyes, 18; Jeremy Tolentino, 18; and Anthony Alexander, 17. The driver of the car they were in, a 1999 Saturn, was racing another car on the narrow, winding country road.

There was beer in the car. The driver had been drinking. The car crossed the center line, struck a guardrail and smashed head-on into an oncoming car. The Saturn driver, Brian Dade, 18, was the only survivor.

It has been three years since that night, and nothing has quieted the grief.

Mililani High School awarded posthumous diplomas to the boys. The families attended the graduation ceremony. It was hard to be there, but it was harder to watch Dade accept his diploma and celebrate the moment.

A memorial wrestling tournament was organized in Andrew's honor. The Delos Reyes family had a difficult time attending. "I can't look at the Mililani wrestling uniforms," Evelyn says. "We buried him in his uniform."

John Tolentino made himself finish the work Jeremy was doing to restore his beloved vintage Volkswagen van. Jeremy was just like his dad, clever and good with his hands. He could make surfboards, fix cars, cook, do carpentry.

A few months after the accident, John brought Jeremy's van to a car show at the Blaisdell. It just about broke his heart to stand there all weekend with his son's car, but John did it knowing it was what Jeremy had been working for.

A memorial scholarship in the boys' names was set up at Mililani High School with money from a settlement with Foodland. Brian Dade's friend, a minor, testified he had bought beer that night from the supermarket and passed it to Dade.

But all of these memorials hurt as much as they comfort.

Sam Delos Reyes has spent his career trying to guide teens into adulthood. He is a football coach, special-needs teacher and athletic director at Campbell High School.

"I guess this is my mission now," he says. Whenever he is asked to talk to kids about drinking and driving, he tells the story about that night in April 2001.

"I tell them, don't be afraid to say no. Don't succumb to a friend's dare just to prove you're tough. I talk to them about being responsible and accountable. I tell them to make decisions that will benefit the people who love you."

Last month, Brian Dade, now 21, pleaded no contest to three counts of second-degree negligent homicide. He is scheduled to be sentenced Nov. 19. The families and friends of the three boys have been asked to submit statements to the court about how Dade's actions impacted their lives.

They're finding it hard to find the right words.

Justin Delos Reyes, Andrew's oldest brother, will speak in court on behalf of his family.

"I would want him to be made an example," Justin says. "I want people to know what goes on, what happens after something like this. Maybe that will change someone else's

decision when they're getting behind the wheel. This is how your actions destroyed three families, not just on that day, but always. We have to live like this until we die."

"Initially our feelings for him were concern," Sam says. "But over time, with things we saw, concerned turned to 'How come?' Concern turned to anger."

The families want to change state liquor laws that give slap-on-the-wrist $1,000 fines to business operators who sell alcohol to minors. They want those operators to lose their liquor licenses. They want Brian Dade to serve time. They want to tell every carefree teenager not to take risks.

But what they want most of all, they know they cannot have.

"I would give anything to get my son back," Evelyn says. "I would have died for him. To this day, I always ask why this happened. We never did anything wrong to other people."