Cure to quarterlife crisis: Don't doubt self — and live

By Dana Knight

I'm no psychiatrist, but it didn't take much time with Steve Dice to figure out his problem: He was having a midlife crisis.

A gnawing need to break free from the doldrums of daily life. A lot of time spent questioning himself and his career. And the startling realization — this might be all there is to life.

Yep. He's got it bad.

But wait. There's one minor glitch in my diagnosis: Dice is only 24.

So here's a revision: You, Steve Dice, are having a quarterlife crisis.

"Wow. I feel refreshed by the fact that there is some name for my pain," says Dice, who graduated in December from Butler University.

Each day, he says, is a struggle to get used to the real world. Eight, nine, 10-hour workdays. Two-hour commutes. Rising at the crack of dawn. Wondering if his sales career is the right one for him.

"The entire time I was (in college), I was dying to get out," he says, "and now I just wish I could go back."

That's definitely a quarterlife crisis, says Alexandra Robbins, the 28-year-old author of "Conquering Your Quarterlife Crisis," a follow-up to her national best seller "Quarterlife Crisis," released in 2001.

Thank Robbins for finally putting a name to the trials, doubts and fears young adults have as they transition into adulthood — whether it is taking on a new job, living alone, trying to find The One, or wanting to make more money.

"You graduate, you turn your tassels and suddenly you're expected to be prepared," says Robbins. "What makes it worse is older people think when (you) complain about these issues that you are just whining."

Robbins was prompted to write about the dilemma she dubbed "quarterlife crisis" because she's been there.

"I was pretty miserable in my early 20s. I didn't know what was wrong with me, but I would doubt myself and question myself every single day," she says. "No, I would interrogate myself. I thought I was a freak."

There are several general symptoms of the quarterlife crisis, though it can manifest itself differently from person to person.

You may be having a crisis if you don't know what you want, have a fear of failure, can't let go of childhood, waffle over decisions, constantly compare yourself to others, or have come to the realization that your 20s aren't what you expected.

In Robbins' book, she offers down-to-earth advice from hundreds of people who successfully walloped the quarterlife crisis.

Some of my favorite tidbits: Take a risk while you still can. Let your heart soar, but keep your head grounded. Accept the chaos.

And finally, don't give up on the dream.

That's the exact advice 26-year-old Meghan Barich gives as she sits (finally) satisfied with her career. "I thought someone would just come knocking on my door because I was so fabulous," she says with a laugh.

The Indiana University graduate, class of 2000, is now working in outside sales for Oakwood Corporate Housing. "Finally. I'm so happy with my job," she says.

But that doesn't mean everything else is perfect. She's single and says when she and her friends get together, they constantly question themselves.

"We say, 'What are we doing with our lives? This is nothing like I imagined,' " she says.

Robbins says you need to get over what you imagined things would be like and start living the life you're in. Take steps, make changes, accept and risk.

Before you know it, the crisis will be over.

Dana Knight writes for The Indianapolis Star.