Posted on: Tuesday, October 19, 2004

ABOUT WOMEN
Wandering eye not eighth deadly sin

By Christine Strobel
Advertiser Staff Writer

"Sex and the City" was an avant-garde comedy, but there's one episode that made it seem arcane.

Carrie, wracked with neurosis about "Mr. Big," picks a big argument over his wandering eye.

"I hate it that you look at other women!" she yelled, after bottling it up for the length of the episode.

And I would have thought it a silly bit of television melodrama until I saw it the other day at the Ward Centre: A woman twisting her man's jaw away from a saucy number in low-slung jeans, following by a verbal reprogramming session that could best be described as "being ripped a new one."

Brief as it was, that had to hurt.

But why all the anguish in the first place? We have to stop giving guys a hard time about looking at other women. Assuming they're not panting heavily as one walks by, there's nothing wrong with it.

We all are drawn to beauty. It's true in jewelry, in sunsets and moonrises, in architecture ... the list goes on. It's especially true in people.

Beauty is the wonder of wonders, as Oscar Wilde wrote.

Human beauty is an asset no less valuable because it is superficial. The pantheon of great poets, painters and crooners created the world's most cherished art in its homage — it inspired a cornerstone of civilization.

And women in particular have upped the ante on pushing the boundaries of beauty in the last couple of decades.

Today, what your parents didn't bestow upon you genetically, you can purchase from a bottle or a surgeon.

Today, thanks to Title IX and a general relaxation of social roles, more of us are playing sports, running marathons, surfing — and looking more tanned, toned and taut as a result.

Today, magazines are littered with pictures of 40-ish celebs furtively dodging the camera eye with their 10-years-their-juniors in tow, and Oprah is looking like every one of her billion bucks at 50. Which makes women believe 50 is the new 40, and 40 is the new 30, and so they dress, groom and exercise accordingly.

Women are looking better than ever at every age! And they're flashing those diamond-brilliant smiles at us from all corners of our media-saturated society.

What's a man supposed to do — gouge his eyes out? Have a little pity!

To a degree, the effect of this female anxiety on some guys is actually kind of cute. I was at Duke's beach after surfing one day this summer, and a male friend noticed I saw him staring into the distance. He suddenly said, "Don't worry, I wasn't looking at a hot woman."

Poor guy. I wanted to rumple that slicked back hair of his.

Ladies, let's relax. Appreciation of female beauty isn't to your detriment, it's just your ego acting up. You're beautiful, and so is everyone else. Let it go and enjoy the show along with your men.

Reach Christine Strobel at cstrobel@honoluluadvertiser.com.