Apparently that's old-fashioned. My friend says she even heard this discussed on a sitcom the other day with a character saying he thought the waiting period before getting it on was "more like three days."

If that is the common perception these days, that's sad. And it makes me think the answer here is that men are pigs. But I know they can't take all the blame.

Instead of considering them all Neanderthals, the best thing to do here would be to give the men in your life the benefit of the doubt.

Perhaps they think sex is an appropriate way to begin a relationship. You just have to be upfront that you don't agree. Be clear that your dating style is not one that revolves around finding partners for casual sex.

If these are the kinds of guys you're meeting, and you're not exaggerating that all they want is sex, either you are going to have to go looking for other men in other places, or you have to be friends with a guy long before you sleep with him.

The tough part will be explaining your feelings without coming across as cold-hearted. If your date doesn't react well to what you say, he's not the kind of guy you want to be with, anyway.

Men should look at you as more than the next conquest. If a man shows you no respect, he isn't worth your time. Be willing to discuss your values, and don't settle for anyone who makes you feel like anything less. No man is worth compromising your integrity.