Posted on: Sunday, October 24, 2004

By Michael C. DeMattos

I found the nicest little restaurant in Kane'ohe. It is lovingly called the Damsel and Dragon by the regulars and resembles a quaint English cottage that through some bizarre twist of the space-time continuum found itself tucked amongst swaying palm trees and climbing philodendrons.

It seated just a handful of patrons, but the waiters were extremely friendly if a bit sparse. The menu was quite eclectic and reflected the wide array of cultural influences one would expect in our little Island paradise while maintaining a local sensibility that emphasized taste. Prices were more than reasonable.

We took our seats and were greeted by the waitress, who was dressed elegantly though she appeared a bit harried. This was not reflected in her mood and attitude however, as she cordially poured us each a cool glass of water.

I opted for the fresh catch accompanied with steamed jasmine rice and a small Caesar salad. My wife chose an appetizer as her main dish, which according to our waitress was quite common.

Because the night was slow, our waitress decided to join us for dinner. This, I was soon to learn, would be the most enlightening dinner of my life filled with strange coincidences and synchronicities.

It turns out that our waitress was not only responsible for serving the food, but she was also the owner of the restaurant and the head chef. While she did not actually cook any of the food, she did make the daily selections and supervised the preparations as well as the plating. She admitted that it was sometimes challenging, but that she loved her job and was supported by her family.

She shared that while being a restaurateur was exciting, there were other endeavors she wanted to pursue including veterinary medicine, professional volleyball and a career in the airline industry. I noted the sincerity in her eyes and the confidence in her voice and felt my weathered cynicism fade as she shared her dreams with my wife and I.

Like us, she had just one daughter and two dogs. Her daughter attended the same school as ours and was even the same age. In fact it turned out that they were classmates. She shared that her daughter had many friends and did well in school, but being an only child sometimes worried her. I told her that I had the same concerns with my daughter.

The coincidences continued as the night wore on, but there were also some surprises. I thought for sure her husband would be a social worker or a therapist, but it turns out that he is a banker. Evidently he helped her get the loan for the restaurant. While our daughter loves ballet, her daughter is taking piano lessons.

Soon our meal was over and it was time to call it a night. Like in "Cinderella," the clock had struck midnight and the dream was over. Mom and I rolled up our sleeves and helped the little waitress, our 7-year-old daughter, clean up the dishes. For one entire night, my wife and I joined my daughter's imaginary world, a world unencumbered by the rules and limitations of "adulthood." Sadly, I learned that our little girl had some very grown-up fears, but mostly there was hope. And the belief in a future in which anything is possible.

Family therapist Michael C. DeMattos has a master's degree in social work.