Any advice, when you stop laughing?

First, get the heck off any dating site that keeps giving you your first cousin as a match. You've got to go for a wider dating pool than that. No wonder you're ready to hold a pity party and sneer at every honeymooning couple on the island. I don't blame you.

If the Internet's your thing, try some other dating sites with more Hawai'i members, such as Match.com.

And if you just want to broaden your social circle, Honolulu's Craig's List community (www.honolulu.craigslist.org) can put you onto a flood of activities.

And, there's always the traditional method: Get out of the house and go places where you'll meet people, whether your scene is the beach, Buddhist temple or the bar down the street.

Most likely, you'll meet somebody on the night when you really don't feel like going out, but in the long run, you'll be glad you did.

Heed friends' warnings about being too picky. You've got to give guys a chance, even if at first they don't appear to meet every point on your checklist.

I seriously doubt you're a total loser who just hasn't figured it out yet. Sometimes being single beats the alternative. But if it's coupledom you're after, don't give up. You're on the right track.