FAMILY MATTERS
Descending from Olympus to the everyday
By Ka'ohua Lucas
Ah, yes, the Olympics.
Many of us spent countless hours sprawled in front of our TV sets in great anticipation of the next gold medal winner. We watched as one of Hawai'i's own, Castle High School grad, Bryan Clay, accomplished a major feat, bringing home a silver medal in the decathlon event.
I mentioned Clay's incredible talent to my husband, whose evening hours had been consumed by Olympic TV coverage.
"Clay is a god among men," he said, eyes transfixed on the tube.
The boys in our 'ohana were so absorbed with each event that my husband assumed the role around our household as Olympic reporter.
Now, every movement he makes has commentary to go with it.
He could be shooting baskets with our sons, or brewing tea or even simply repositioning himself on the pune'e (day bed).
Every action involved a play-by-play review.
One morning, he was dressing for work.
I happened to walk into our bedroom as he was beginning to put on his dress slacks.
He looked at me and without skipping a beat began his analysis.
"Okana extends his right leg doing a half-twist at the hip."
One leg goes into the pant leg.
"What an amazing feat! Okana extends his left leg, doing a full, reverse flip extension."
His left leg goes into the pant leg.
"Now for his finish. The crowd is silent. Okana steps back and lunges forward doing a reverse Arabian triple back quad extension zipper."
My husband sucks in his gut, buttoning the pants and zips up.
"I have never seen anything like this before! Okana has beaten the world record in the advanced Pleated Pants Entering event. And THE CROWD goes wild!"
At this point, my husband mimics the applause of the audience by forcing a controlled amount of air from the base of his throat.
In slow motion, he crouches as if he has just dismounted from a gym apparatus.
Then, he gradually comes to a standing position with both arms raised.
"THIS IS AMAZING! Okana is bringing home his 10th gold medal. The first athlete ever to achieve this status in Olympic history!"
He continues to wave at his imaginary audience while blowing kisses to the crowd.
As I lean against the door jam, I shake my head.
"You are incredible," I say, smiling.
He snatches his aloha shirt from the coat hanger and nimbly buttons the front of it.
"Hey, Babe. Life is a competition. It's all about form."
Reach Ka'ohua Lucas at Family Matters, 'Ohana section, The Advertiser, P.O. Box 3110, Honolulu, HI 96802; fax 525-8055; or at ohana@honoluluadvertiser.com.
