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The Honolulu Advertiser

Posted on: Friday, September 10, 2004

KISSES AND MISSES
What's your advice for singles?

 •  More advice columns

By Tanya Bricking Leach
Advertiser Relationships Writer

Apparently, last week's "36 AND COUNTING" isn't the only single woman whose last single girlfriend just got married.

All of these women need to meet and form some kind of support group. Some of them responded to the advice shared here last week, and they had mixed opinions about the idea of turning to the Internet to meet people. (I guess online dating can leave a girl bitter.)

Boyfriend vs. boy friends?

A man has a problem with the way his girlfriend talks to her guy friends. Is he just jealous or does he have reason to get mad? Weigh in with your vote in our online poll.

It so happens a new book called "Single" just landed in my mailbox, seeking to remind the world that being single is "not a condition to be cured." (I'm sensing more bitterness here.)

The theme: No one can love you more than you can love yourself.

Yet, somehow, I don't think that's the answer people want to hear, because the same people who want dating tips are most critical of the advice given.

Fine. Tell me your solution for people getting older and still looking for love, because just look at some of the responses I'm getting:

Dear Ms. Leach: I am a 38-year-old single mother of three. I've been searching for true love all my life, until after a heartbreaking relationship, I answered the knock on my heart to GOD! And I've had immeasurable love and joy ever since. We will never find this unconditional love in anyone or thing! Please publicize this. There are too many young men and women looking for love in all the wrong places! God Bless You.

— SATISFIED IN CHRIST

I agree that too many people are looking for love in the wrong places. But I don't even know how to respond to that without putting myself in danger of being struck by lightning.

What would you say to 36 AND COUNTING, who also complained that her online dating service told her her first cousin was one of her top matches?

One reader's take:

Aloha, Tanya: Technically, I think a first cousin is probably the best of matches. That is why they have laws against it. Online services shouldn't have any way of determining blood relatives. As long as we know who our cousins are, at least the service would seem to be giving a good profile. Please write about cordovan wingtips when you can.

— THANKS, JIM

Wingtips?

Need advice on a topic close to the heart? Write to relationships writer Tanya Bricking Leach at Kisses and Misses, The Advertiser, P.O. Box 3110, Honolulu, HI 96802; or at kissesandmisses@honoluluadvertiser.com.