Posted on: Monday, September 13, 2004

AT WORK
Enjoy your work, but don't bet on finding bliss there

By Andrea Kay
Gannett News Service

One of the biggest myths about work is that it will make you happy.

That's not to say you can't enjoy the work you do. Or that it won't use your strengths and interests, or you won't find meaningful moments. But to think your work will put you in a perpetual state of bliss is just, well, unrealistic for most people.

A day in the office, in the plant or out on the road is hardly a day in the park. Think about it: sitting through those required staff meetings. Sparring with disagreeable co-workers and clients, and pleasing petty bosses. Or even doing the work that you're good at over and over again.

How did this notion that work will make you happy get started?

Alain de Botton, author of "How Proust Can Change Your Life," wrote in a New York Times op-ed piece that in the late 18th century, we saw "work recategorized not only as a means to earn money, but also as a way to become more fully ourselves." Also about that time, because "prestigious and well-paid posts seemed to be available on the basis of actual intelligence and ability, your job title could perhaps say something directly meaningful about you," he wrote.

"A few jobs are certainly fulfilling," he added, but we'd be wise to "stop torturing ourselves for not being as happy in our work as we were told we could be."

While I believe work can be a place to grow and express yourself, it's worth examining what work means to you and establishing realistic expectations.

For many people, work is a means to an end. Take, for example, an administrative assistant I know who spends the day answering six phone lines, scheduling meetings and ordering lunch for two executives and their team meetings. "My work does not make me feel happy inside," she said. "It's OK work. And I like being appreciated." But her job lets her go home at 5:30 to her kids and compensates her well enough to support them and pay for the house that shelters them. And that makes her happy.

Other people want to express their creativity at work. They see it as a place where they can develop as an individual. Does their work make them happy? Not necessarily.

A manager in healthcare said, "My work does not make me happy, per se. But I'm challenged and learning, and on some days I even help someone feel better about themselves. That can be personally rewarding."

For some people, their work is a calling, where they see their job as a way to serve others. "I enjoy that I can express myself and inspire people," a motivational speaker explained. "My work doesn't always deliver joy to me. It's draining, but mostly I feel I am doing something important."

And then there are people like the woman at the McDonald's drive-through on Newtown Pike in Lexington, Ky., who greets you with a broad smile and beams, "Hello, there! How are you today?" As she hands over your order, she looks you in the eye and says, "Y'all have a wonderful day now, hear?" And you can tell she means it. Who knows if her work makes her happy? But she sure makes anyone who passes her way feel good. And I bet that makes her happy.

My advice: Set realistic expectations for your work. Check in from time to time to see if your expectations are being met or if they need to change. And then don't worry about whether your work makes you happy; just be happy.

Reach Andrea Kay at No. 133, 2692 Madison Road, Cincinnati, OH 45208; www.andreakay.com; andrea@andreakay.com.