Posted on: Monday, April 4, 2005
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By Mike Leidemann
Advertiser Staff Writer
Who knew being a grown man could be so dangerous?
Sure, people were always watching out for us when we were kids; boys are expected to get into trouble.
That's why Mom was always warning us to stay out of streets, trees, driveways and the carnival that still came to my hometown once a year.
And the teen years?
Of course, they were filled with lurking dangers of the peer-pressure sort: alcohol, drugs, girls, you name it. I'm still not sure how I resisted, or survived, all the temptations.
It must have been all the advice I had from a few great teachers, an older brother, and a few level-headed friends. Or maybe it was with the help of some reverse-role models: Jim Morrison, Jimmy Hendrix and Janice Joplin. Then again, maybe it was luck of the draw.
Even when I reached manhood (though there are those who insist I'm a perennial adolescent), it seemed like plenty of people were still watching out for my best interests:
Was I putting enough money into my savings accounts at age 25? No.
Was I getting enough exercise when I was 30? No.
Was I putting enough money into my savings accounts at age 35? No.
Was I getting enough exercise when I was 40? No, but I was doing better.
At least people cared enough to ask. Or ask with a hint of admonishment.
When I reached the mile-stone age of 50 not so long ago, I figured I was finally prepared to go it on my own. I'm reasonably healthy, financially OK (if you call month-to-month OK) and emotionally whole.
Mom still calls to offer advice sometimes, but I think she does it more out of habit than genuine worry.
Besides, she's got plenty of helpers. Everywhere you turn these days, it seems a man's world is full of disclaimers and warnings. It's almost as if middle age comes with its own motto: Caution, men at play.
Examples come from the medicine cabinet, the carport, the car, and cardiovascular machines:
• Professional driver on a closed course. Do not attempt. • May cause drowsiness. • Seats at advertised rates may be limited. • Side effects can include irritation, aggravation, vexation, agitation and exasperation. • Prolonged operation of your new LawnBoy 3200-series riding mower (see first item above) may require frequent beer breaks. • Do not operate with wet hands or if the extension cord is frayed. • Pedal faster. • Zero-percent financing not available on all models. Qualified buyers only. • If pleasant conditions exist for more than four hours, please consult a doctor. • Results may vary. Reach Mike Leidemann at 525-5460 or mleidemann@honoluluadvertiser.com.
