By Ferd Lewis
Advertiser Columnist

Friday was the federal income tax deadline and with the rush to make those last-minute filings there was undoubtedly some confusion over allowable deductions, tax credits and the like.

Your friends at the Internal Revenue Service would like to remind those who have yet to file, have taken extensions or plan on claiming them next year to read the instructions thoroughly and fill out the forms carefully so you don't end up receiving a letter like:

Dear John L. Smith
Head football coach
Michigan State University

While we feel your pain stemming from that 41-38 come-from-ahead loss at Hawai'i — and heard your whining all the way to Washington D.C. — please be advised that just because you feel you were treated unfairly by the officiating crew, missing out on a bowl game does not qualify you to file for an exemption of loss by theft.

Just a thought, but perhaps you wouldn't have had a problem if you could have slowed down Chad Owens.

Dear Sirs
Owners, New Orleans Hornets

We realize this has been a difficult year. However, we are unable to approve your claim for depreciation of the home team's basket at your arena.

In the future, a submission of a ranking of better than 30th — and last — in the NBA in both scoring and shooting percentage, would greatly enhance your claim. Better luck next year.

Dear Mark McGwire
Former major league home run record holder

It might have worked with Congress, but when it comes to filing a form 1040, the IRS does not accept the explanation, "I'm not here to talk about the past."

Dear Herman Frazier
Athletic Director, UH

We understand that Aloha Stadium is, indeed, your football "home" but even the fact you pay more than the price of a house to play there each year does not permit you to claim a homeowners' credit.

Dear June Jones
UH Head Football Coach

While we certainly applaud the selection of two such distinguished assistants, "Mouse" Davis, 72, and Jerry Glanville, 63, for your staff and wish you the best of luck in 2005, their ages, in and of themselves, do not qualify you to receive a senior care credit.

Please note that, despite their AARP cards, Riley Wallace did not receive one for his staff, either.

Reach Ferd Lewis at flewis@honoluluadvertiser.com or 525-8044.