honoluluadvertiser.com

Sponsored by:

Comment, blog & share photos

Log in | Become a member
The Honolulu Advertiser

Posted on: Sunday, April 24, 2005

Setting the date more than a matter of heart

By Linda Dono
Gannett News Service

Choosing a wedding date involves more than deciding on the design of a save-the-date card.

Couples are advised to pick their wedding dates carefully. Caterers, clerics, even holidays and weather are factors to be considered.

Advertiser library photo

You have to fit in your own desires around clerics, caterers and reception-hall scheduling.

Here are questions to consider:

A religious ceremony?

Make your minister, priest, rabbi or imam one of the first stops along the way to determining a date, in part to make sure that person can fit your ceremony into his or her schedule.

Also, some denominations discourage weddings during certain times of the year or ask that the celebrations be scaled back. In some years Lent, considered a time of penitence and reflection, conflicts with Christian weddings held around Valentine's Day and often can be an issue for early spring ceremonies.

Some religious groups require that the bride, groom or their families be members of the congregation to be wed there. This prevents couples from choosing a building simply because it's quaint or majestic. If you truly want to be married in the little church on the hill, you may need to become a member first.

Your cleric may require formal or informal premarital counseling. Some ask that the couple take weeks of formal classes before setting a date. Others require the couple to meet with them over several days before the ceremony. Your timing will have to take that into consideration.

Heart set on a date?

Remember, you're not only competing with other weddings when you're looking for a caterer, florist or reception hall. Anniversary parties, reunions, bar and bat mitzvahs all need food, flowers and a nice place for a lot of people to celebrate. Caterers and florists can juggle only so many jobs in one day.

You'll probably have to plan far more than a year in advance if you want to get married on sought-after days such as New Year's Eve or Valentine's Day. Stay away from dates around popular local festivals or sporting events. Banquet halls may be easier to book, but your out-of-town guests could be stuck with premium rates for hotel rooms unless you're able to book a block of rooms.

Scheduling your wedding around some holidays such as Christmas or Thanksgiving may make it difficult for relatives to attend because of other family obligations.

Think again about the significance of your date. Plenty of places likely will be available for booking around Sept. 11, but you may want to avoid a celebration then. People who are superstitious should avoid the Ides of March, a weekend following a Friday the 13th, or even June 6, 2006.

Check among family members, too, to make sure another wedding isn't already in the offing for when you want to get married. You could create a lot of hard feelings if you plan your wedding on the same day or within a week or two of a cousin, even if you aren't close.

Outside Wedding?

Predicting a sunny day a year in advance is always tricky, but you should steer clear of any rainy season. If you must have an outdoor wedding or reception, make alternate arrangements in case of a downpour.

Find out when your favorite flowers are in bloom at the location you've chosen. Places with gardens sometimes have photos of their grounds at various times of the year so you can get an idea of what's there and what else you might want to add in the way of pots, planters and bouquets.

Ask about average temperatures, humidity and insect control. An outdoor wedding in September in the mountains may be different from one on an arid coast. You'll want your guests to be comfortable but not sticky, and it might be wise to rent a bug zapper in some locales if one is not already provided.

Are you on a budget?

If you're trying to squeeze the most out of the least amount of cash, don't choose a weekend day. Or pick a slow time of the year for parties, like January.

The least-expensive weddings often occur on the spur of the moment with hardly any guests. More than a few fathers of the bride have bribed their daughters, at least in jest, by promising them the difference between a civil ceremony and an all-out wedding for a house down payment.

If you're willing to sacrifice formality, go to the courthouse and have dinner at a nice restaurant afterward. But be aware that getting a marriage license and getting married are separate activities. You still have to schedule to take your vows, but the timing is more flexible. Nevada, for example, requires no waiting period or blood test for a license, and several cities have county clerks and wedding chapels open extended hours.

If you want to leave on your honeymoon immediately, think of planning the wedding ceremony for the off season or close to it at your honeymoon destination. You'd still be getting married on your home turf, but a Caribbean honeymoon costs less in September than February. But watch for hurricanes.