Posted on: Sunday, April 24, 2005

By Lee Cataluna
Advertiser Columnist

Oh, now it's about the keiki.

Which is both the most blatant and the most effective marketing tool for any half-baked or self-serving, slightly sinister plan in this state, followed by "it's for the kupuna" and "it's for the economy."

"It's for the keiki" trumps them all.

But House Bill 1378, which is moving closer to passage despite cries of protest from domestic violence prevention advocates, is not about the keiki.

It is about a handful of men who are incensed that their exes "won" in court. They feel so violated that only the weight of legislative action will vindicate them.

They are the very vocal minority, the self-important, self-righteous few who are willing to put thousands of victims in peril to make the point that they were wronged.

HB 1378 is built on the contention that people, usually women, go to Family Court in droves and tell big lies about being abused by their spouses in order to gain the advantage in keeping custody of their kids and grabbing hold of the house in a pending divorce.

Well, of course this happens. People lie under oath all the time, from traffic court to Congress.

But how often does it happen at Family Court? There is a crucial question that has not been answered. The Legislature has heard anecdotal testimony, but there hasn't been any quantitative evidence.

It's pretty hard to imagine that this is occurring often enough to warrant a change in the state law designed to protect the lives and safety of victims of domestic abuse. The process of applying for a temporary restraining order is so odious, soul-sucking and sad, it's hard to fathom many people putting themselves through that with nothing but lies in their hearts.

Further, there are already protections in place against false accusations.

Specifically, there is the Order to Show Cause hearing, where the accused gets to present his or her version of events and the petitioner for the restraining order has to present evidence. This happens 15 days after a TRO is issued.

Under HB 1378, any finding of abuse in a TRO hearing would not be binding in subsequent Family Court cases. So a victim will have to prove abuse all over again when it comes time to decide who keeps the kids on weekends. How scary is that when you're dealing with a psycho ex?

There are other points that erode the TRO protections, but the worst is that the person asking for the restraining order has to prove that PHYSICAL abuse has occurred. Not just property damage, not just kicking the dog, breaking dishes and slashing the tires, not just saying "I'm gonna get you."

This is an important point for those who dreamed up this bill. This is what they want:

"Specifying that abuse allegations to support a PO or TRO involve actual physical abuse or threats of physical abuse that would likely result in actual physical abuse."

So all the rest of the crazy, abusive, controlling, scary stuff is supposed to just be ignored.

Opponents are calling it the "wait until you get hit before you ask for a TRO" bill.

Sen. Colleen Hanabusa says this bill is necessary to "level the playing field" for fathers.

Playing field? Since when is the safety of abuse victims a game?!

Divorce is ugly. Domestic abuse is uglier. Pretending to be taking care of kids when what you're really doing is making it harder for their moms to keep them and themselves safe is hideous.

The Legislature has no business eroding current TRO laws. If they want divorce reform, call it that. If they want to help the kids, pay for alternatives to violence- and family-counseling programs. If they want to help fathers who feel wronged by their exes, support ho'oponopono or family mediation. And if they want to "fix" Family Court, put more money into the system.

It's a zoo up there. The system is way over capacity. Every day, the waiting area outside the court rooms looks like one of those vile, old, free clinics with the walking wounded filling every seat, lined up against the wall, sitting on the floor and spilling out into the hallways.

But don't pretend this is something noble when it isn't. This is vindication for the few at the expense of many, many, many.

HB 1378 will be discussed in Conference Committee tomorrow at 2 p.m. in Room 325 at the Capitol.

Lee Cataluna's column runs Tuesdays, Fridays and Sundays. Reach her at lcataluna@honoluluadvertiser.com or 535-8172.