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The Honolulu Advertiser

Posted on: Tuesday, April 26, 2005

ABOUT WOMEN
Surprise! You've got male

 •  Previous About Men/Women

By Leila Wai
Advertiser Staff Writer

I was always one of the guys when I was growing up: I played soccer with and against them, and as I got older I tried not to date them.

But the other day I found out I really am one of the guys.

At least, according to the Social Security Administration.

I received a phone call from The Advertiser's Human Resources office telling me I needed to change my records because there was a discrepancy — Social Security has me listed as a man.

I told my editor, Curtis Murayama, who promptly told the sports crew of my secret identity via e-mail (Subject: Leila is a girl).

And I couldn't wait to break the news to my boyfriend, who thankfully saw the humor in the situation.

"Clearly, we're going to have to re-evaluate the situation, because I like women," he so lovingly responded.

But after all of the initial jokes, I started to really think about the situation. It was a bit of self-reflection I wasn't sure I was ready for.

I've always felt very secure in who I am. The jock, the nerd (I have a picture of my friends in front of a bookmobile spelling out my name in sign language), and the girl who eats mass quantities of food in one sitting.

But I've never experienced the youthful uncertainty of being any of those things.

There are times when I was growing up when I bet my mom thought her second daughter was really her first son.

Especially when I started the water fight inside the house, then locked myself in the bathroom and pretended to be taking a shower. Something my devious brother would do, not her angelic daughter.

Then there was the time I got sick in the fifth grade and was excused from an assembly so I could lie down in my classroom. A fly was buzzing around in my classmate's sandwich bag, so I caught it, sealed it, then promptly forgot about it. When I got back from the nurse's office, my teacher was kind of upset.

I wrote it off as girlish impishness. That's one of the nice things about being a girl.

But the minor technicality that made me a man, at least as far as the federal government is concerned, forced me to consider what I don't like about being a woman.

Of course, our shoes are painful, and underwire uncomfortable, and at moments when I can't find a bathroom, the idea of being a guy is appealing.

But besides having to shave my legs (every so often), a monthly visitor, and making sure my skirt isn't tucked into my underwear, I really love what I am.

I don't want to be flawed, easily amused, slovenly or Cro-Magnon. Basically, I don't want to be a man.

So soon I'm going to make my way down to the Social Security office downtown and stand in line for who knows how long, just so the government gets it right and confirms that I am, in fact, a woman.

Reach Leila Wai at 535-2457 or lwai@honoluluadvertiser.com.