I love to garden, but living in a condo, I don't have a plot of land to play with, so I've made a container garden of house plants inside and flowering plants on the balcony outside.

Inside, I have philodendron, dieffenbachia, African violets, and two varieties of orchids, among others. Outside, I have bougainvillea, geraniums and cactus.

Over the years, I've learned to develop a green thumb, the same way we learn everything else in life — by trial and error. Plants, I've discovered, are very much like people. You have to nurture your relationship with them — and yourself — in order to grow.

The way we take care of plants often is indicative of the way we relate to others. At first, you never know how much to water a new plant, whether it will thrive in sunlight or shade, or how to prune it. In relationships, figuring out how to share love, how to express it, and how to receive it is different with each person.

A friend used to be afraid of watering my plants when I went out of town, so I would write out a list of exactly how much water to give each one. After a while he said, "You know, I've figured out the reason my plants always died. I always gave them too much water." It's amazing how things grow when you don't drown them with attention.

The key to taking care of plants is noticing when things change. If you're not watering one enough, the leaves can start to wilt or turn brown. If you're watering too much, you can start to see green algae form on the soil, or find yourself in combat with gnats that are harmless for the most part, but annoying to have in the house.

If you ignore problems, the plant can fall into distress and die. In people terms, don't ignore signs of unhappiness in others — or yourself. Unhappiness has a way of slowly killing our life force, and relationships with those we love.

I went out of town recently, and when I returned, noticed that spider webs had formed in the balcony railing near the orchid plants outside, so went to a garden store for help. The clerk advised me to buy an organic pesticide spray for prevention, saying that as along as the plants were not infested with webs, spiders were good insects to have around, because they eat other, more harmful bugs.

Unfortunately, after a couple of weeks, it was clear that the spiders were moving into the plants as well, and I had to buy a stronger pesticide to clear up the problem. Sometimes, no matter what you do, trouble just comes into your life.

Another friend recently was admiring the bougainvilleas, which are in full bloom with branches of pink blossoms, and asked, "Can't they just stay that way year-round?"

I wish they could, but as I explained to her, one day the blossoms will drop off, and the branches will look bare. When that happens, it'll be time to cut the branches back, so that more energy is available for the trunk of the tree to stimulate new growth and the next blossoming.

In every life, the growth cycle must be honored. We learn, we grow, we blossom, and we are faced with new challenges that teach us new lessons. The hardest part of the cycle is coming to terms with realizing that something we once thought was true, really is not, or is no longer true for us.

Every time that happens, some part of us is stripped bare, and dies.

The good news, though, is that we will blossom again. Just like plants, people are always a miracle in the making.