Q: I read with interest the letter from the reader who was fearful of using the bathroom in front of her boyfriend. My problem is very similar. I just started dating this girl a month ago. Things are getting more serious and I think that eventually we will go exclusive. Like any person, I have a few skeletons in my closet, one being irritable bowel syndrome. Symptoms include constant abdominal pain and discomfort, and, in my case, frequent bowel activity and gassiness. I am on medication for this "functional disorder," as it is called, but am not sure how to tell this girl that I suffer from IBS. I don't want her to think that I am some mutant. I am much like the Average Joe and don't want her to think of me any differently.

Advice Diva, how do I tell her?

A: The best way to handle looming Big Conversations, sometimes, is to not have them at all. So you have IBS — it's not like you stole from your employer or are living life secretly as a woman — you have a willful digestive tract. So does 10 to 20 percent of the general population.

The next time you're at dinner and push away the bread basket, you can always throw in, "Carbs wreak havoc on my IBS." (IBS tip: Talking, chewing gum or sucking on a breath mint causes more air to be swallowed, contributing to the flatulence factor.) Or discuss it in (slightly) more detail if you wish (after dinner, please) but don't feel that you need to make excuses for who you are. If you're cool with it, she'll be, too.

As for controling gassiness, aboutibs.org tells us to avoid these foods (all of which are the Advice Diva's favorites, ahem): Apples, ice cream, artichokes, carrots, whole grains, asparagus and cheese, plus wine. What's nongassy: Eggs, animal proteins, cherries, berries, cantaloupe, avocado, olives, okra, rice and gluten-free bread, which is good to know when shopping for one's next dinner party.

The Advice Diva welcomes your questions on relationships, family matters and modern etiquette — particularly the more amusing ones. Reach her at advicediva@herald.com or at Advice Diva, Miami Herald, 1 Herald Plaza, 5th floor, Miami, FL 33132.