Cool or dorky?

If you had asked me in high school which I wanted to be, I would bet my Members Only jacket on the first.

But now, I can't tell the difference between the two.

Dork has become the new Cool. You almost can't have one without the other. Everyone "cool" claims to be at least partially dweebish. Britney Spears, Jessica Simpson, Angelina Jolie. They all seem to think that they've got a little dork beneath the bling.

So when did being utterly uncool become totally cool?

I'd like to blame Napoleon Dynamite for turning the world on the charms of geekdom. After all, no one could exude as much dorky-coolness talking about ligers and numchuck skills.

No, this started way before his Pegasus T-shirt, back in the '80s when it was cool to look ridiculous in shoulder pads and acid-wash jeans.

We had "The Breakfast Club" and "Real Genius." We rooted for the Lambda Lambda Lambda frat nerds and Duckie from "Pretty In Pink." And when geeky Samantha scored the uber-hot jock Jake in "Sixteen Candles" — and in that dress! — dorky teenage girls everywhere cheered.

Dorks weren't always in. There used to be such a thing as "cool kids." They played guitar. They drove cars with spoilers. They wore Benetton.

Now the geeks surpass the jocks as the new breed of hip, as they create empires online, master high-tech gadgets and prove to everyone that being smart and slightly socially awkward can be crazy cool.

My teenage sister — a self-proclaimed dork — fits that new mold of cool. She listens to J-pop, wears furry vests and talks to me like we're chatting online. (Lots of acronyms and strange noises.) What makes her insanely cool — or geeky? — is her ability to draw anime. Oh, and she's not bad on the DDR. (Dance Dance Revolution, for all you nondorks.)

But is this extremely cool? Or just really, really dorky?

"Dorky!" she'd squeal. Like it's the coolest thing.

As a teenager, the last thing I wanted to be was a geek. Yet, here I am, 13 years out of high school and pleading my case for dorkdom.

Yes, I listen to The Aquabats. Yes, I read the last Harry Potter book in entirety the day it came out. And yes, I prefer the geeky Seth on "The O.C." over Ryan who, let's face it, isn't exactly the epitome of cool, either.

But am I dorky enough to be cool?

My sister would roll her eyes at me. With her advanced knowledge of GaoGaiGar and mad Photoshop skills, she's completely outdorked me.

But that's OK. I've got enough geek in me to know the truth.

And my calculator watch helps.