Q. I grew up in a very traditional family and learned to appreciate "knight in shining armor"-type guys. I am 23 and still single. Are manners too much to expect from guys these days?

— Old-Fashioned Girl

A. No, but if you're waiting for a modern Cary Grant to materialize, you're going to be single for a lot longer. Insist on the basics — politeness, compassion, good diction and the ability to listen (sense of style is a plus but you can always work on the wardrobe later) — and take it from there. Don't get hung up on the physical, though (other than grooming) — there are some incredibly attractive cads out there.

DIVA'S MAILBAG

Dear Advice Diva:

Regarding the date where the male asked his female companion to go dutch for a pricey meal: Having been in the battle for equality since the '60s, I can't believe there are so many women who want the guy to pay for everything then fight him for an equal-paying job. Get real: It's time for the women of this world to realize they can't have it both ways. Either they are equal or they are not. The quiet dinners at home don't equal a pricey dinner out.

— Sheila Barker, Key West, Fla.

Dear Sheila:

The Advice Diva appreciates your sharing your unwavering opinion on equality among the sexes, but we just don't relate to your linear thinking. To address the price issue, we can show you our gourmet grocer receipts to testify that home-cooked meals can indeed exceed the cost of dinners out. (And this doesn't even figure in the cost of flowers, candles and a cute new outfit.)

What is unfortunate is the righteousness behind many a feminist's rhetoric. Equal pay for equal work, yes, a no-brainer. But inviting someone to dinner (and choosing the restaurant) during the courting stage and then expecting to go halfsies when Dutch dating hasn't been established is just plain evil in our book.

Send questions to: Advice Diva, Miami Herald, 1 Herald Plaza, 5th floor, Miami, FL 33132; or advicediva@herald.com.