She must have been no more than 10 at the time. My daughter looked up from a picture book and said excitedly:

"Daddy, I know why you like black-and-white photographs better than color ones. Color overpowers your eyes. You can see a lot more detail in black and white."

Ansel Adams would have been proud!

As I write this, I can look out the window of my home office and see the interplay of light and shadow on the plants in our garden. There's plenty of color, to be sure, but on closer examination, the shades of light and dark — the shadows and gray tones — are what give the picture I'm seeing its character. Shadows define the textures in different surfaces —the ripples on a pond, the roughness of tree bark, the veins in a leaf.

They help define contours, shapes and features. And each time the wind blows, clouds move or the sun changes position in the sky, the picture changes. Nothing remains the same from day to day, much less from minute to minute.

Our world is ripe with texture. The next time you step outside take a moment to look, not just at the colors, but at the shadows that define those colors. See how the leaves at the top of a bush have an entirely different color than those in shadow below them. Look at the rocks, trees and shrubs and examine how it takes both light and dark to give them their individual character.

Walk through your house and see how the interplay of light and shadow defines your indoor spaces as well. To see how much things can change, do it at different times of day.

Are you beginning to see things differently? Can you sense how it takes shadows and colors to form a complete image? What about the way a particular scene can change with the time of day or season of the year?

What would it be like if you could go back and examine settings from your past with this new perspective? Would they take on a different meaning?

Photographers have known for years that it is the shades between light and dark that truly define our world. But this isn't solely a visual phenomenon. It applies just as well to how we perceive the people in our lives, the things we believe and our relationships with others.

Nearly everyone understands that the phrase "red flower" falls far short of accurately describing every red flower. The same is true of the phrase "green leaf."

Yet we glibly use simplistic labels in describing the people and issues in our lives. In fact, we relish the idea that everything and everyone can be labeled.

Pick a label. There are too many to list here, but we all know and use them: Right- wing, left-wing, liberal, conservative, pro-life, pro-choice, labor, management, teenager, senior citizen, politician, lawyer, housewife, black, white, Hispanic, Muslim, Jew, Catholic, Protestant and so many more.

Each conjures up a picture in our minds. But labels are like bright lights or bold colors; they can blind us to the true nature of things. In truth, most labels fall far short of reality — just as "red flower" and "green leaf" do.

Still, we Americans love labels. We can't seem to live without them, especially for the things we feel passionate about — what we hate, as well as what we love.

However, in using labels, we sacrifice so much meaning. The details that make us each unique get shunted aside. All Muslims are not terrorists. All blacks are not great basketball players. All managers do not want "to keep labor in its place."

Frankly, the news media are as responsible for our label-crazy society as anyone. Part of it is due to time pressures — labels are quick and easy to use. The competitive pace of the modern news business, as well as space and time limitations, have made labels into convenient shortcuts.

Why describe something when you can just slap a name on it? In fact, the media should be embarrassed by how often they perpetuate grossly inaccurate labels provided by news sources, particularly the Bush White House. Without sufficient detail, the pictures news consumers get are distorted.

Think about it. Someone who cuts through Hawai'i Kai and Kalama Valley to get to Sandy Beach doesn't see the starkly beautiful coastline between Portlock and Sandy Beach that includes Hanauma Bay and the Halona blowhole. If you really want to understand East O'ahu, you have to drive that coastline.

Otherwise, you'd think the area was nothing but suburbia.

As my children were growing up, I used to remind them regularly that every individual is different and how great that is because the world would be a terribly boring place if we were all the same. I believed it then, and I believe it now.

There's an old Ray Stevens song, "Everything is Beautiful," that says it so well. (I'm really dating myself here.) "Everybody is beautiful in their own way. There's none so blind as he who cannot see. We must not close our minds, but let our minds be free."

It's a radically freeing thought (and a whole lot less frustrating, too) when you accept as reality that no two people see anything — and I mean anything — the same way. The truth is it's perfectly natural for each of us to see things differently.

We all come to the table with different interests, differing life experiences and varied views of what we want out of life. It's perfectly natural. There's no right or wrong about it. What's important is to understand why the differences exist.

It doesn't mean we can't argue about things. We can and should advocate for what we believe in, but calling the other people names just because they disagree with us doesn't make sense.

I'll bet that any activist (conservative or liberal) who actually got the whole world to accept his point of view would be bored silly in no time. Activists need opposing viewpoints to continue being activists, just as teachers need students to continue teaching.

I mention teachers because I'm married to one, and good teachers try harder than any people I know to make the most of individual differences. Teachers steer clear of labels as much as is humanly possible. Instead, they expect every student to be different, with a unique set of talents, experiences and interests.

A successful teacher seeks to understand each student's strengths and weaknesses, then works to make the most out of them. Good teachers try to instill certain basic skills in students as well — how to ask effective questions, how to examine and describe the details of what they see, and how to make sense of the world around them. The goal of any good educator is to help students grow in inquisitiveness, perceptiveness and understanding.

Our differences are not the problem in America or in the world; they enrich us. Our problem is our inability to appreciate differences, to go beyond stereotypes to understand the shadings of individual character. We need to calm down and listen more, as a nation and a world (something our teachers tried to teach us in grade school).

Respectful dialogue can build lasting bridges. We have so much to learn from one another. And if we pay attention, we just might see that there are things we have in common that can become the foundation for making our differences work for us.

Hate and fear weaken a society. That's why despots throughout history (and today's terrorist leaders) have used hate to strengthen their hold on power. They thrive where there is fear and mistrust. The last thing they want is a world where people reach out to each other.

Celebrating our differences — seeking to understand the subtle and not-so-subtle shadings in our own lives and those of others — is the key to a more peaceful and just world. We have so much to learn from one another. Let's be glad we're all different.

Instead of cursing the dunderhead who doesn't see things our way, maybe — just maybe — we should see what he or she has to teach us. Curiosity about what makes us different sure beats the pants off fearing the things we don't understand.

And curiosity is such an optimistic trait. It says we want to learn about the world and people around us, that we respect and value others as much as we do ourselves. And that can give us all reason to hope for a better tomorrow.

Vive la difference ... in all its many forms!

Joel Kennedy is a former Ho-nolulu public-affairs executive who now lives on the Big Island.