Throughout the 36 years Carolyn Arbuckle spent with her husband, she remained a supportive and devoted wife, and that didn't change after he was diagnosed with lymphatic cancer and given just a few years to live.

Arbuckle took on most of the responsibility herself. She pursued hospice care at home, helping her husband spend his last days in an environment he knew and loved.

"That's when I realized the full extent of my lack of knowledge," said Arbuckle, a writer and retired English teacher. ... "I had to learn the hard way."

Arbuckle chronicled her experience — the trials, errors and rewards — in "A Caregiver's Journey With a Terminal Patient," published last year. Her target audience is a large one: In the U.S., 59 percent of adults either are or expect to be a family caregiver, according to the city Department of Community Services, Elderly Affairs Division. And in Hawai'i, 95 percent of home care for an estimated 126,000 people is provided by relatives and friends.

Arbuckle's book covers an array of topics, such as handling legal issues, making financial plans and recognizing the signs of approaching death.

"It's very comprehensive," said Joyce McArthur, 80, who read the book after caring for her terminally ill husband for more than a year.

The chapters McArthur said caregivers may find most beneficial include those on making quick and easy meals, exercising, and preparing the home for patient care.

"It was written in a very personal way, and I think that might be helpful for people because it's based on (Arbuckle's) real experiences," said McArthur, a retired bookkeeper from Kahala.

The book will be useful for caregivers, whether those they aid are expected to recover or are dying, said Arbuckle, who also serves as a commissioner for the state Policy Advisory Board for Elder Affairs.

"This is a 24-hour job and it can be so physically exhausting and mentally depleting," said Arbuckle, 64, of Kahala. "I felt there should be a book that would try to say at every chapter, in one way or another, 'You're doing a good job.' "

Arbuckle's inspiration for her book was her husband and high school sweetheart, Ron, who was diagnosed with cancer in 1984.

"He was only given six years to live, and he fought cancer for 10 years," Arbuckle said. "He had run 44 marathons, and I think it was because of his superb physical condition that he was able to fight it."

But in August 1994, Ron's condition worsened. Arbuckle put her teaching on hold to give 24-hour care to her husband. "I felt ... I was in new territory, very unfamiliar, and that I was making mistakes every day," she said.

After Ron's death in December 1994, Arbuckle began writing about her experiences as "therapeutic exercise," she said.

Arbuckle — who has a bachelor's degree in teaching, master's in history and English, and a doctorate in holistic health sciences — spent nine years researching terminal illness.

"A Caregiver's Journey With a Terminal Patient" guides caregivers step by step through everyday activities, including preparing a medication chart and getting patients into and out of a car and bed.

Arbuckle also devotes sections to the well-being of the caregiver: how to deal with tedious details, how to keep energy and spirits up, how to find a support system, and how to regain the mainstream of life after a loved one's death.

Mike Travis of Mililani isn't a caregiver, but he read Arbuckle's book because he doesn't rule out caregiving in the future. Travis, 37 and married with two young children, said he found sections covering advanced directives, living wills, financial planning and medical personnel to be valuable. "It's a nice road map on how I'd go about becoming a caregiver," he said.

While caregiving can be an overwhelming ordeal, Arbuckle said, caregivers should remember to spend quality time with their patients, and to be strong.

"Maintain a very positive attitude that you can do it," she said.