By Larry Ballard
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School is just around the corner. Sorry, kids. Hate to kill your buzz. But it's time for a special back-to-school shopping column.
The National Retail Federation estimates that back-to-school shopping will generate about $13.4 billion this year. In real terms, parents will spend an average of $443.77 on each kid. That number, I'm guessing, assumes each kid can get by with only one sneaker.
If you believe Personal Shopper Inc., some parents hate the back-to-school experience as much as their children.
(Editor's note: The preceding sentence can be read two ways. Pick the meaning that best describes your family.)
The company surveyed 2,000 U.S. adults and found that some of them rate back-to-school shopping somewhere on the Enjoy-o-Meter below rush-hour traffic, taxes, even a trip to the dentist.
Laura Silsby, the company's founder, explained in a rather lengthy press release how PersonalShopper.com could take the stress out of school shopping and save money.
"It's like having a free virtual shopping assistant working for you 24/7 ... " she wrote, just before I quit reading.
But the survey results were interesting:
None of which surprised those of us with memories of Mom selecting "outfits" while we stood in Sears rolling our eyes.
Mom always found just the right shirt to go with those X-tra Wear jeans that left us walking like the Tin Man until about, oh, Labor Day.
I know I hated it.
I know Mom hated it.
So kids, summer's nearly over. Soon it will be autumn. (You might have heard something about this phenomenon last year in science class.)
Let me take this opportunity to say: "It stinks to be you. Ha, ha."
And, I might also add: "Ha."
You guys had it pretty darn easy this summer, and now you're getting a bunch of new clothes and a pair of Adidas that cost more than the space shuttle.
So don't expect any sympathy from me.
I've reserved that for your mom.
