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The Honolulu Advertiser
Posted on: Sunday, August 28, 2005

Looking for love in many places

By LAURA BLY
Gannett News Service

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Call it "Bridget Jones' Travel Blog." When 39-year-old Jennifer Cox decided it was time to track down Mr. Right, the London-based publicist for Lonely Planet hit the road — and her keyboard. The result: a globetrotter's dream lineup of 80 dates in 18 countries and a new book, "Around the World in 80 Dates" (Downtown Press, $13). Cox found her match at Nevada's Burning Man Festival and has been living with him happily ever after in Seattle, where she recently wrapped up a movie deal with Reese Witherspoon. She dishes with USA Today's Laura Bly about her global search.

Q. You were living in one of the world's largest, liveliest cities. What convinced you that, unlike Dorothy in "The Wizard of Oz," you couldn't find your heart's desire in your own backyard?

A. Londoners have time for nothing but their jobs. I'd spent 10 years pouring myself into my career and getting by on "relationship patches" — like nicotine patches, staving off the desire without satisfying any of the need. When a particularly awful relationship ended ... I decided to travel to the ends of the Earth and find (true love).

Q. How did you decide on locations and find dates?

A. Within a couple of weeks of sending out a "soul mate description" (to her network of pals and business contacts), I was getting up to 20 e-mails a day from prospective dates — everywhere from Australia to Russia to Indonesia. I'd e-mail back and forth with each of them to get a sense of how compatible we were. (This wasn't some Sex and the Suitcase scenario; I was serious about wanting to meet the right guy.) From there, I drew up a short list of guys I liked.

Q. How did you keep track of them?

A. I wrote the name of each country — say France — on a blank piece of paper. Then I would write the name of potential dates underneath. I'd stick the pages to my office wall, then move them around as the order in which I intended to visit changed or new countries/dates were added. I would store each guy's e-mails in their file.

After three months, I had enough Mr. Rights to start the European leg of my dating tour.

Q. Your friends referred to the trip as "around the world in 80 lays." Were you worried about ending every date in a wrestling match?

A. My answer turned into a mantra. "It's not about sex; it's about romance." I meant it. One-night stands are the emotional kebabs of the relationship world: easy to get after the bars shut, leaving you feeling like rubbish for the next three days.

Q. In what way do you think nationality helps determine men's personalities? Are French and Italians inherently more romantic than Brits?

A. Each country definitely has its own date persona. British men tend to be unsure of themselves and retreat into sarcasm. Make them feel confident and they'll be charmingly self-deprecating and sweet. Mediterraneans are old-fashioned romantics, the type who open doors and help you on with your coat. ... But I found Americans the most red-blooded daters — confident and flirtatious.

Q. Your best date locale?

A. There were so many bests: champagne under the midnight sun with Anders on a floating sauna in Sweden; dressing up as Juliet and dating Romeo on a balcony in Verona; being flown over wineries and snow-capped mountains by Gene, the handsome pilot in New Zealand. But of course, my absolute best was in the Nevada desert, where I fell in love with my soul mate, Garry.