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The Honolulu Advertiser
Posted on: Friday, December 16, 2005

Fundraiser not time to ask favors

By Tara Solomon

Dear Advice Diva:

Every year my children's school organizes a fundraiser that includes a live and silent auction. Last year, I placed a bid on an item in the silent auction, anticipating heavy competition. One of the mothers asked that I not bid on the item because she wanted to give it to her husband as a gift. What's to do — honor a mother's request or raise my bid for the enhancement of the school?

—Jennifer

Dear Jennifer:

The mother in question was thinking more of her own funding than the school's. Our response to her would be something along the lines of, "Actually, I was thinking of bidding on the celadon Ming vase, as well. Happy bidding! It all goes to our children's school. Isn't that grand?"

FIRST DATE

TURN-ONS

1. Confidence, but not so much that I want to smack him.

2. Good eye contact.

3. A hint of silliness.

TURN-OFFS

1. Bush supporter.

2. Being rude to the restaurant help.

3. Not listening/telling long dull stories about himself.

—A.K. in St. Paul, Minn.

DIVA'S MAILBAG

Dear Advice Diva:

Please tell me about the "Just a Drop" product .

—Marge Lyles

Dear Marge:

Just a Drop, a pocket /purse-sized bottle of environmentally safe, potty-odor-fighting liquid, can be ordered at www.justadrop .net.

Dear Advice Diva:

In reference to Miss Blackwell's letter regarding a sloppy co-worker: We had a new hire come into our office once who had been hired based on a telephone interview. We were all shocked (boss included) to find her about six months pregnant and her attire was just as Miss Blackwell described. Turns out, she had been working in a fast-food place and that was all she had. Her work habits were excellent and with the increase in pay, she quickly changed her dress code without a word from us. She developed into a very good worker. I hope that Miss Blackwell will befriend the young lady and help her to adjust to life in the work place. Who knows, maybe they will still be friends 19 years later.

—Nancy Gragg, Alamogordo, N.M.

Dear Nancy:

Thank you for sharing an inspirational example of taking the high road.

The Advice Diva welcomes your questions — particularly the more amusing ones. Write her at advicediva@herald.com.