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The Honolulu Advertiser
Posted on: Monday, December 19, 2005

Party unites Islands' foster 'ohana

By Loren Moreno
Advertiser Staff Writer

Curt and Valerie Wheeler, and daughters Trinity, 1, leaning in for some ice cream, and Kaleigh, 2, were among those in attendance at the Foster Family Programs of Hawai'i Christmas party. The Wheelers, of Mililani, have three biological, five adopted and two foster children.

JOAQUIN SIOPACK | The Honolulu Advertiser

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FOSTER PARENTS NEEDED

People interested in becoming foster parents may call the state Department of Human Services at 454-2570 on O'ahu or (800) 995-7949 from the Neighbor Islands.

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Curt Wheeler, a foster parent for four years, wipes the mouth of his daughter, Kaleigh, 2, at the Christmas party at Blaisdell Exhibition Hall. "I was adopted myself, and my wife and I always wanted a large family," Wheeler said.

JOAQUIN SIOPACK | The Honolulu Advertiser

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Sixteen-year-old Desmond Olsen, who has been through six foster families and has lived in a foster care home, thinks he has finally found the perfect family.

Curt and Valerie Wheeler, who already had three biological children as well as six adopted or foster children, became foster parents to Desmond in May.

The Wheelers will become his permanent guardians once the paperwork is finalized in March.

"They have a very welcoming home," Desmond said. "They are very nice."

The Wheelers, of Mililani, were among hundreds of foster families in attendance at yesterday's annual Foster Family Programs of Hawai'i Christmas Party at the Blaisdell Exhibition Hall.

The families were treated to musical acts, games, Christmas-ornament making, cookie decorating, face painting, pictures with Santa and even makeovers by Paul Mitchell volunteers. The more than 2,500 people in attendance got a turkey lunch with all the fixings.

Linda Santos, president and chief executive officer of Foster Family Programs of Hawai'i, said the goal of the lunch was to bring the community's foster families under one roof and to thank the parents for the work they do.

"When the foster children are in school, they are labeled and feel different," Santos said. "When they all come here, they don't have to feel out of place."

About 4,860 children are in foster care in Hawai'i, said Santos. More foster parents are desperately needed, she said.

"There are just not enough foster parents and some families have to take on more children," said Santos. She said there is a big push to place foster children in the homes of relatives, but it is not always possible.

Children enter foster care for many different reasons, the most common of which are physical abuse, drug abuse by parents, domestic violence and sexual abuse. Children stay in foster care from one to two years and the majority may live in several foster homes.

Valerie Wheeler, 38, said she wished more families would take in foster children. "These children make me feel really blessed," she said. "I feel like I am making a difference."

The party has been something her family looks forward to every year.

"It helps for them to interact with people they have something in common with," said Valerie Wheeler. "It helps them know they aren't different."

Desmond said the lunch has made him feel more a part of a family and that he belongs. He also said he enjoyed meeting children from other families.

"I saw a few kids that I know," he said.

The Wheelers have been foster parents for four years. The decision to become foster parents was natural, said Curt Wheeler, 41.

"I was adopted myself, and my wife and I always wanted a large family," Wheeler said.

After having three biological children, Valerie Wheeler was no longer able to have children. So she and her husband decided to become foster and adoptive parents.

The Wheelers have since adopted five children they once fostered and are in the process of adopting the last two of their foster children — 16-year-old Desmond and 18-month-old Trinity.

"When you take on foster children, you never know what you will get," Curt Wheeler said. His wife added that it takes about six months before the foster child opens up and accepts their new family.

Valerie Wheeler said she has always thought of each foster child as her own and that more families should experience the reward of fostering children.

"Every child deserves a home," she said.

Reach Loren Moreno at lmoreno@honoluluadvertiser.com.