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The Honolulu Advertiser
Posted on: Friday, December 30, 2005

Invite her to strike up friendship

By Tara Solomon

Dear Advice Diva:

There is a young lady I would like to meet. We always exchange a smile, and I get some signs from her that she's interested. The only time I see her is outside our office building a couple of times a week when she takes a smoking break with her friends.We all are just courteous to each other and I don't know her friends well enough to inquire casually.

Opportunities to meet someone who's single, close in age and appears to be very special just don't come along too often.

—Desperately Seeking ... Whatever Her Name Is

Dear Desperately:

We take it that you're not a smoker — which is a good thing — meaning you can't join the nicotine clutch and ask for a light. Our suggestion: Write your name and cell number on the inside of a folded book of matches, along with something harmless and fun, not unlike, "I was considering taking up smoking to get to know you but then decided to just ask you out. Wanna have coffee/lunch/dinner sometime?" Hand it to her the next time you pass by the gang. And don't forget to smile!

Dear Advice Diva:

I've been dating this guy for four months and I am starting to think it could get serious, but every couple of weeks he gets really moody and I won't hear from him for days. When I finally hear from him, he will just say, "I was busy." Is his behavior something I should be worried about?

— Sal

Dear Sal:

"Busy," may be his code word for taking time off for: a) a psychotic episode, b) a drug or alcohol binge, or c) another girlfriend. We have known several very busy young men whose disappearing acts were symptomatic of one or more of the above.

The Advice Diva urges you to do your own disappearing act — preceded by a short and sweet goodbye: "It has been great dating you but I think we should go our separate ways; with graduation and all, it's just been so busy for me."

The Advice Diva welcomes your questions — particularly the more amusing ones. Write her at advicediva@miamiherald.com.