Posted on: Sunday, February 6, 2005

LEE CATALUNA

By Lee Cataluna
Advertiser Columnnist

It's hard to know whether to get indignant or to just buss laugh.

Late one afternoon, there was the No. 11 bus heading east down Kapi'olani Boulevard toward Ke'eaumoku.

And there was Mr. Bus Driver, plate lunch in hands (yes, both) elbows balanced on the steering wheel, fork working like a shovel as he wolfed down what looked to be rice with gravy-over-all.

There were just two or three passengers in the bus at the time, but Kapi'olani Boulevard was its usual afternoon busy-busy.

At each red light, Mr. Bus Driver took the opportunity to hoist the white Styrofoam box up to his chin and scoop out the little bits of lunch from the corner of the box. He let the bus roll the last few feet to the stop line.

On the one hand, abunai, no?

But on the other, kinda' poor thing. He must have been super hungry. And who among us hasn't scarfed a Zip Pac or a nine-piece chicken nuggets (with dipping sauce) while careening down the road between appointments?

And here I go, pen and paper in hand, following behind Mr. Bus Driver so I can take down his bus number. He's driving while eating. I'm driving while writing. Just as bad.

A couple of years ago, the state Legislature considered a bill that would ban any activity, including eating, that would be a distraction to safe driving. As in other states, the "driving while eating" clause was ridiculed into oblivion. Polishing off a 7-Eleven manapua as you cruise Farrington Highway is relatively harmless compared to the greater threat posed by a cell-phone user in full beefing-with-their-ipo-mode going whippaz up the asphalt.

Again this year, bills have been introduced in the Legislature that would prohibit the use of a mobile phone while driving unless the device is equipped with a hands-free accessory.

House Bill 778 doesn't mention eating plate lunch, putting on mascara, yelling at the kids in the back seat or bending down to pick up your CD case from the passenger-side floor, though. Just cell phones.

According to a Honolulu Police Department representative, driving while eating could lead to an "inattention to driving" citation. If the meal-behind-the-wheel causes the driver to swerve all over the road, the charge could be higher, like "reckless driving."

Apparently, police have seen it all, though operating a large passenger vehicle while enjoying a four-choice special with mac salad still got a mild reaction:

"Oh nah."

As for the hungry bus driver, calls made to The Bus and City Public Transit officials Friday afternoon were not returned by pau hana time. I know the bus number, license plate and the day and time of the DWPL (driving with plate lunch) incident, so I suppose the driver could be identified. But kinda' sad. He was pretty deft at navigating while grinding and he really seemed to be enjoying that lunch. And just the sight of him was hilarious.

But nah, if he hit someone, it wouldn't really be funny.

Lee Cataluna's column runs Tuesdays, Fridays and Sundays. Reach her at 535-8172 or lcataluna@honoluluadvertiser.com.