Posted on: Thursday, February 10, 2005
Students resolve own conflicts
By Treena Shapiro
Advertiser Education Writer
When conflicts arise between Leilehua High School students, they often turn to some of their classmates for help resolving their differences.
Lessons learned: Counselor Candace Wada, who oversees the program, said, "I've learned the students are very powerful. They have it in them (to settle disputes). We just have to get it out of them."
Keys to success: The peer element. "A lot of times the students don't want to hear from us, the adults," Wada said. "They can relate to each other on a different level. It's kind of cool to watch." How they do it: The counselors begin recruiting mediators for the following year each April, requiring each student to apply and get two teacher recommendations. Once they have been accepted into the program, students come to school early twice a week to learn mediation skills. Mediation takes place during class time, but mediators can choose to stay in class if they are taking an exam or have a lesson they can't miss.
During mediation, the mediators first meet with each student individually, then bring them together to try to bring a resolution to the dispute. Almost all cases end in some sort of agreement, Wada said. As for the 17 peer mediators, they say the program allows them to meet new people, gain confidence and learn how to better resolve conflicts in their own lives.
Junior D.J. Tanda, who became a mediator after having to go through mediation himself, said he likes the program because "you learn a lot for yourself, you become a better person and you get to help other people."
The mediators come in early to learn how to help their fellow students deal with rumors, relationships and verbal harassment, and how to teach anger management. Last year, the students mediated 137 cases.
The goal of the mediation sessions is to have both sides come to some sort of agreement. In the case of a relationship problem, that could mean a resumption of friendship or an agreement to avoid contact with each other. In addition to individual sessions, the students visit classrooms to teach others about conflict resolution and anger management.
Britney Choy, also a junior, describes herself as laid-back and a good listener, and classroom presentations were initially a challenge. "I wasn't too good with public speaking, and this has helped me," she said.
Choy said one of the hardest things about mediating is that she is not allowed to give the disputants advice, but rather she must ask questions to lead them to their own conclusions and "give them a reality check."
As Tanda explained, "We're trying to help them realize their mistakes, realize for themselves what they did."
Senior Matt Gertin said peer mediation teaches students to be active listeners who make good eye contact and are able to restate and rephrase what they hear, an important skill when disputants barrage mediators with their versions of a story. "It's hard to remember sometimes," he said.
Another hard thing is remaining impartial. As senior Melissa Kenigton said, "It's people's nature to pick the side you believe is right, and you want to give other people an ugly look," she said. "This has really helped me learn to be neutral."
Kenigton added that mediators have a special status at the school, and she likes being a role model.
Vice principal Malaea Powell said administrators now rely on the program to settle the majority of disputes on campus. Administrators and counselors often have limited time to talk with troubled students, while peer mediators can delve deeper into problems.
"They're being helped by their peers, people they know they can trust," she said.
Reach Treena Shapiro at tshapiro@honoluluadvertiser.com or 525-8014.
The school's 6-year-old peer mediation program has freed administrators and counselors from dealing with lesser infractions, while students are given an outlet to work through their problems.
How students acquire the skills
