Posted on: Friday, February 11, 2005
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KISSES AND MISSES
Unrequited love can be agonizing
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By Tanya Bricking Leach
Advertiser Relationships Writer
Dear Tanya: I'm 15, and I hope you can give me some advice on love.
There's a boy at school I have loved ever since I saw him. He told me in a text message that he likes me and another girl, Tammi, who is my friend. She has gone out with him three times in a row.
I haven't even had the chance to tell him I like him back.
We get along great, but we had an argument Wednesday. I accused him of something he didn't even say. It was made-up gossip going around that made me really angry.
He says he forgives me.
I love him so much I cry over him. Every break or lunchtime I go looking for him.
But now that he's going out with Tammi, I can't do that anymore. My heart gets broken every time I see him with her.
I want him to love me like I love him. Do you have any pointers that would help me out?
— PUPPY LOVE
Hint, hint: Monday is Valentine's Day. So at least a card would be nice. But what will you do if your lover forgets? Is it grounds for a breakup? Tell us by voting in our weekly relationships poll. Better you learn this at 15 than 35: There is no way to make someone love you the way you love them.
That's the sad truth.
Wishing something to happen doesn't always make it happen. Prayers, text messages, apologies and longing glances don't guarantee anything, either.
Really, there are never guarantees when it comes to love. A certain amount of the dating game involves taking calculated risks. If you do decide you just can't go on without reminding him he has other options, Valentine's Day could be your best opportunity to proclaim your love.
Just be prepared if your love is unrequited.
If it turns out you are his second choice, there's little satisfaction in that. Just remember that if he never asks you out, it would be his loss, not yours.
You are worthwhile all on your own, even if you have no plans on Saturday night.
When times are lean on the dating front, that's the time to put your effort into other friendships.
If you confide in a close friend, you might discover that having a boyfriend isn't as important as having someone who will listen to your ups and downs, and be there when you need it.
Need advice on a topic close to the heart? Write to relationships writer Tanya Bricking Leach at Kisses and Misses, The Honolulu Advertiser, P.O. Box 3110, Honolulu, HI 96802; or kissesandmisses@honoluluadvertiser.com.
I hate to be the one to break this to you, but if he has been out with Tammi three times in a row, the next thing you know, he just might be asking her to the prom.
VALENTINE'S DAY
