Posted on: Saturday, February 12, 2005

EXPRESSIONS OF FAITH

By Joyce Lyon

"Praise the Lord! For all who fear God and trust in him are blessed beyond expression. Yes, happy is the man who delights in doing his commands. When darkness overtakes him, light will come bursting in. He is kind and merciful, and all goes well for the generous man who conducts his business fairly. Such a man will not be overthrown by evil circumstances. God's constant care of him will make a deep impression on all who see it. He does not fear bad news, nor live in dread of what may happen. For he is settled in his mind that Jehovah will take care of him. That is why he is not afraid, but can calmly face his foes. He gives generously to those in need. His deeds will never be forgotten."

These verses (112th chapter of Psalms) so beautifully describe my husband of nearly 34 years, Stan.

I was surprised when a package arrived in the mail addressed to Stan six months after he had died. With great curiosity, I opened it and found a box of chocolates and a note. It said:

"Stan, when I called your office, I was told you had retired. I am happy for you, but I will miss you as my agent. You were always so pleasant and helpful to me. Thanks for your wonderful service through the years. I hope you are enjoying your retirement as much as I am enjoying mine."

As I read the card, I wept. I wept because God had provided a box of candy for me on my first Valentine's Day without Stan. I wept because Stan wasn't here to enjoy his retirement. I wept because I had such a good husband who lived his faith according to Psalms 112 and was remembered so lovingly, not only by me but by those he worked with. What could be better than to live our life in a way that when we are gone our good reputation lives on?

I feel so privileged to have spent those 33 years as Stan's wife. As we neared our 34th wedding anniversary, Stan's cancer was taking its toll in his body. While shopping one day I bought him an anniversary card with the hope he would live until Sept. 16. He did not. He died in early August. On our anniversary, I sadly looked at the card I had chosen and realized how appropriate the message had been. I wept again as I read the words on the card: "Whatever God has planned for me/ from now on through Eternity/ I'm thankful that I know I'll be/ Spending it with you!"

On the bottom of the card, I added my own words: "But for a little while I am missing you!"

I attached the message to several helium balloons and let them fly away from the same spot where I had scattered Stan's ashes six weeks earlier. I stood looking up, watching as the wind carried the balloons up, up and away till I could see them no more.

As I write this, I am weeping again thinking of the disciples looking up when Jesus left them to return to heaven. I will continue to look up, awaiting the fulfillment of his promise to return again as he departed, and I look forward to spending eternity with Jesus, and I will weep no more.

Joyce Lyon attends Faith Baptist Church in Kailua. She is a mother and grandmother who also belongs to a Christian writers' group.