Posted on: Sunday, February 20, 2005

FAMILY MATTERS
Hope springs eternal each Valentine's Day

By Ka'ohua Lucas

"Happy Valentine's Day," my 10-year-old announced as we barreled down the freeway.

"That is too precious," I smiled, giving him a pat on his lap. "You remembered."

Every year is pretty much the same. My husband and I do not really celebrate Valentine's Day. I cannot remember if we ever did.

With most new relationships, Valentine's Day is special. Couples tend to shower each other with candlelight dinners, roses, wine, candies and exchange gifts that sparkle. As the years progress, material tokens expressing one's love become unimportant and irrelevant to the relationship.

At least that's what I thought, until I spoke with my husband on the phone.

"So you're not expecting anything for Valentine's Day, right?" he asked.

I could hear him typing away on the computer keyboard.

"Honey, I never expect anything from you," I teased.

But in the back of my mind I was hoping he would present me with a small gesture of his love. It wouldn't have to be anything fancy or expensive. Just a little something that shows he cares.

Like the time he shared a cooler full of cold Bud Light. It didn't matter that I didn't drink the beer. Nor did it matter that it was his favorite.

But it showed he was thinking of me.

I remember one Valentine's Day he strung me a triple plumeria lei. The flowers were withered and drooping. A section of the lei exposed only string.

But that didn't matter to me.

It showed he was thinking of me.

Two years ago, he presented me with a recycled withered red rose, one he had received as a gift from the firm that manages the parking lot in his building.

It showed he was thinking of me.

It was clear to me that my husband did not plan to shower me with a recycled gift this Valentine's Day. So I decided to create a special gift for him. When I arrived home that evening, I searched through my supply of used gift bags and pulled out a bright pink one.

I found a bag of cookies that were still amazingly unopened and wrapped in its original package.

I scanned our wine collection and pulled a bottle that we recently purchased from our Napa Valley trip.

I placed them in the pink bag.

For a final touch, I added a single pale, coral wilted rose i one of a dozen I had received as a birthday gift from my mom.

I placed the bag and its contents on his dresser.

When he arrived home that evening, he peeked inside the bag and popped a cookie in his mouth.

The only response he had was, "Didn't you receive my virtual Valentine's card?"

Oh my gosh! He was thinking of me on Valentine's Day!

Reach Ka'ohua Lucas at Family Matters, 'Ohana page, The Honolulu Advertiser, P.O. Box 3110, Honolulu, HI 96802 or at ohana@honoluluadvertiser.com.