By Lee Cataluna
Advertiser Columnist

Who would think lunch could be heavier, more decadent, more gut-wrenchingly 'ono than chicken katsu curry?

Chicken katsu alone is pretty near the top of the gastro-seismic scale — marinated chicken, battered and deep-fried and served with a sweet-tangy mud paste euphemistically called "sauce."

Then there's the curry part. Not the ladies' luncheon girl curry with fruit, celery and dainty cubelets of white meat chicken, but the thick golden Japanese-style curry: three-quarters lard, big shards of carrot and potato, hard knots of fatty beef. A lunch that lasts for days.

Then, some evil genius with a culinary arts degree got the idea of serving the two together: Chicken katsu strips laid out like toy soldiers on a slab of rice, then blanketed with an inch or two of slurry curry.

It's the Pacific Rim version of chicken-fried steak with country gravy over mashed potatoes. Only heavier.

But say a prayer and hold on to your elastic waistband because they've taken it to the next level.

It's like when some daring cook came up with chocolate-covered arare. How could that possibly be topped? Then someone in the throes of madness put li hing power in the mix and blew the whole thing out of orbit.

Or the advent of deep-fried Twinkies. Folks couldn't leave that deadly tube of cake and cream alone. They had to dip those bad boys in batter, send them swimming in hot oil and serve them hot a la mode with whipped cream.

It never ends. Decadence is not a destination, it is a perpetual descent down a long and greasy road.

We've turned yet another corner, and around that bend, a beckoning sign:

Chicken katsu curry ... with cheese!

Cheese! Imagine!

For $6.50, the Curry House will serve you a basin of rice, katsu and curry covered in melted orange cheese, either mild or spicy, though fans say spicy goes better with cheese.

That's not all, believe it or not.

Other choices on the menu include fried chicken curry with gyoza, pork cutlet curry with kim chee, stewed chicken curry with spinach (for the health-conscious), stewed chicken curry with sausage, corn croquette curry with cheese and the big daddy special, kalbi curry.

By the way, all of the above can be paired with a squid salad on the side.

Just FYI, Curry House has four restaurants in town, on Kuhio Avenue, McCully, Ala Moana and University Avenue, plus another in Pearl Kai. All are open seven days a week from 11 a.m. until midnight.

So is that it? Are we done yet? Can we leave it alone now?

Doubtful. That's not in our nature.

There's bound to be another level to our lunches: chicken katsu curry with cheese over cake noodle? Whoa.

Lee Cataluna's column runs Tuesdays, Fridays and Sundays. Reach her at 535-8172 or lcataluna@honoluluadvertiser.com.