Posted on: Sunday, February 27, 2005
Welcome, sis, to our family
Photos by Richard Ambo
Story by Tanya Bricking Leach
The Honolulu Advertiser
Torry and Ed Montes met in college, married 16 years ago and tried for years to have a baby. Fertility treatments and two attempts at in-vitro failed. But the couple still wanted a family.
Ed, a lieutenant colonel in the Marines, traveled frequently and was able to see Emily about every two months. And Torry, a sixth-grade language-arts teacher at Mid-Pacific Institute, made the trip about twice a year in what became a roller-coaster ride and education in international adoption.
In the process, they also gained a son, Jacob, who was placed with them nearly two years ago through an orphanage and the help of Child and Family Service, a private nonprofit agency that does adoptions in China and the Philippines (for information about such adoptions, call Lisa Barber, the program supervisor, at 543-8426).
Emily's adoption took longer because of delays, a scramble for documents, fingerprinting and refingerprinting. Now, Emily is the same age Jacob was when he arrived to start life with the Montes family.
"The first time we saw Emily, she was like a little teeny bag of rice," Torry said. "It was definitely worth the wait." Emily speaks a mix of English and Tagalog and calls Jacob "Kuya Jacob," which translates to "Older Brother Jacob."
Getting a sister was definitely a poignant moment for Jacob. He wasn't thrilled about the concept at first. When his parents and Emily stepped off the plane last week, his mother tried to cajole him into giving his sister a candy lei. He refused. An hour later, he was sharing his toys and his room, and he was beginning to learn what brotherly love is all about.
Then Ed's mother heard through friends of the family in the Philippines about parents who couldn't afford to raise a 12th child. Ed's mother knew she had found a granddaugther. She was even there at the birth. But the process of bringing Emily Rosa Montes home took 3 1/2 years.
Jacob Montes and his stepgrandfather, Fritz Bachman, wait at the airport for Jacob's adopted sister to arrive.
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| Five-year-old Jacob Montes was reluctant to welcome his adopted sister, Emily, 3. So when she arrived at the airport in Honolulu with his parents, he let his mom, Torry Montes, give her a candy lei. | |||||
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| Got a moment?
Our monthly Moments of Life feature shines a light on personal transitions and connections. We welcome your reactions or suggestions for future topics. Send comments to Island Life editor Elizabeth Kieszkowski at ekieszkowski@honoluluadvertiser.com, or call 525-8034. |
