It's time to put boss who accidentally touched breast at ease

By Andrea Kay

Many of you have written to ask about issues ranging from the handling of embarrassing moments at work to whether, out of desperation, it's OK to commit "resume fraud." Here are some of your questions and my advice.

An Ohio woman too embarrassed to identify herself wrote to ask what to do when her boss accidentally touched her breast as they were "doing a motion that was between a hug and a handshake" after their department had a reached an important goal.

"He actually grabbed it. He was reaching for my hand and somehow missed. I know it was an accident. He was more embarrassed than I was. He's acted weird towards me ever since and barely speaks to me. I feel like I'm being punished and am worried that the incident is affecting my work relationship. What should I do?"

As awkward as it is, you really need to get this out on the table. He's probably worried about what you think but is afraid to say anything. You could approach him by acknowledging how uncomfortable you feel, but that you feel even more uncomfortable about how the incident is affecting your working relationship. Tell him you realize it was an accident and that you would like to put it behind you. Someday, you'll be able to laugh about it.

Julie of Georgia and Mitch of Houston are among dozens of people who wrote to ask if it's OK to fudge information on their resumes. Both have similar rationales and for both, I have the same advice.

"I have had short stays, leaving on my terms, at some excellent companies, having worked at four companies since 2002," explains Mitch. "I am at an ethical dilemma and reaching desperate proportions. I have thought to have a friend vouch that I was at his organization working, however, I do not feel that is right. Have I any choices?"

Julie has been working temporary assignments for three years and thinks that "no employer wants to see temp work on a resume for such a long period of time. It's almost as if I'm perceived as having no skills or something may be wrong with me. I am contemplating 'resume fraud' just to land a job! I can easily make up a place of employment for the past three years where a friend who owns his own business will vouch for me. What have I got to lose?"

Being desperate isn't helping either situation. You're not only looking at taking desperate measures; both of you are probably trying too hard or not being effective in interviews because you're so freaked out about your perceived liability.

You don't know for certain what's getting in your way. You should be prepared to explain your past, but don't apologize, just explain circumstances. You, Julie, chose to work in temporary jobs during a difficult market while seeking full time employment. And you, Mitch, need to explain your reasons for leaving.

Accept the past, you can't change it. By trying to re-create it on your resume, you have more to lose than gain. As Mitch said, he doesn't feel it's right. He is right about that.

Several readers wrote to add to my article about soldiers returning to civilian work and the Uniformed Services Employment and Reemployment Rights Act. That's the law that requires an employer to reinstate a returning service member to the job, salary and benefits he or she had when the member left.

For the employers, there's a volunteer organization called the Employer Support of the Guard and Reserve, says Scott from Utah. It provides free education, consultation and mediation for employers of National Guard and Reserve employees. If you're such an employer, you can find the organization through your local National Guard office.

Reach career consultant Andrea Kay at andrea@andreakay.com.