That means being there when your children watch the news, limiting their exposure to terrifying images, asking if they have any questions and giving them reassurance, said Chris Otake, bereavement coordinator at Hospice Hawaii.

"They're worried, just like when 9/11 happened," she said. "You know, kids are self-centered. They think, 'If this can happen to them, it can surely happen to us.' Parents should reassure them and tell them, 'We're here to keep you safe.' "

Sending out prayers

But unlike 9/11, there was nothing to blame this disaster on except nature.

It became a teaching point in the classroom at St. Anthony, where middle school science teacher Marcia Clinton's eighth-graders already were studying earthquakes. And because of the Catholic school's religious affiliation, it also became a reason to pray.

They prayed for the victims, the survivors, and people such as Lt. Col. Chris Isham, a Kane'ohe Marine who is leaving for Jakarta, Indonesia, to be part of the relief effort.

Shelby Isham

And they prayed for families such as Kathy Manuzak's. The 12-year-old seventh-grader has relatives in Indonesia, and her mother wants to go back and work as a volunteer.

In the school's student council meeting the other day, they decided to all get involved in the effort by starting a penny drive with a goal of $1,500 for tsunami victims.

And at Punahou School, students who volunteer at the school's Luke Center for Public Service began an aluminum can drive with recycling proceeds going to help tsunami victims.

"It will help the environment here and there," said Travis Dos Santos-Tam, 14, an eighth-grader helping to organize the drive.

Getting involved in efforts such as these help children, teens and even adults put the tragedy into perspective and see good come out of something so devastating, said Ann Daws, a clinical therapist at Catholic Charities Hawaii.

"We all feel powerless when something like this happens," she said. "Anything we can do gives us a feeling we're really helping."

Little bits of comfort

She recommends relying on comforting rituals such as mealtime prayers to give children comfort to cling to during times of stress, or even something as simple as lighting a candle for rescue workers or families broken apart by the tsunami.

"No child is too sophisticated to light a candle when they sit down to dinner," she said. "They can find a level of comfort sending light and making a difference acknowledging their heart is heavy."

Little moments are as important as big donations in the aftermath of tragedy, Doe said.

Camila Chaudron, 14, a Punahou ninth-grader learned that this week.

She worried about how her 5-year-old brother would be affected by the tsunami news after her family talked about it and the little boy said he was sad. She asked her dad if the family could go over to the hardest-hit areas to help. Her dad told her volunteers were already doing that.

So Camila's friend started something closer to home: a lemonade stand, with the money going to tsunami aid.

Camila plans to collect cans and do what she can at home in Manoa.

"It kind of made me feel better, like I was helping them, that they weren't hopelessly stranded," she said. "Maybe I'm helping someone get food and water for one day."

That's the kind of lesson Sister Rosemarie Montoya, a St. Anthony religion teacher, wants children to get out of this.

"I want them to begin to think globally," she said. "What I want them to understand is that we're all interconnected. The world is getting smaller and smaller. They did a lot of sharing. And they do have compassion in their hearts."