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The Honolulu Advertiser

Posted on: Friday, January 14, 2005

ISLAND VOICES

Families of drug addicts need help, too

By M.P. “Andy” Anderson

You've seen the headlines: "Ice addict nabbed in home invasion," or "Drug paraphernalia found in high-speed car wreck," or "Man killed by police was on 'ice,' " — examples of how drug abuse has ruined the lives of many of Hawai'i's sons and daughters.

But seldom do you hear about the families of those addicts, leading lives of quiet desperation as they try to cope with the ever-widening circle of drug abuse, bad behavior, financial ruin and sometimes death that occurs because of addiction.

Many counseling, treatment and recovery programs have been established to treat addiction and substance abuse for the addict, but unfortunately there are few effective programs for the affected family. And because of the social stigma and financial drain most families experience with an addicted family member, they often shun help outside of the family.

GETTING HELP

WHERE: The first weekly meeting for families of drug addicts will be held in Glantz Hall at the Church of the Holy Nativity in 'Aina Haina.

WHEN: Feb. 8 from 6 p.m. to 8 p.m.

For more information: Call Dorothee Schmidt, administrative supervisor for Hina Mauka, at 236-2600 ext. 228.

So, while the addict struggles to feed his addiction, the family must cope with fear, stress, heartache and depression while they desperately try to deal with the addiction.

The threat of financial ruin and the welfare of young children are very real concerns. For parents and siblings, the changes in behavior and exposure to danger are often overwhelming as they try to understand the motivation of the addict.

They watch helplessly as grades drop sharply, interest in sporting activities disappears, friends become more shadowy and rebellion sets in.

Substance abuse that may have started with alcohol and marijuana now moves dramatically to more dangerous substances — heroin, ice and others. In an attempt to stem the rising tide of abuse, the family often tries to change the addict's behavior with threats and withholding privileges, usually with little success.

As they become more desperate, they slowly become entangled in denial and begin to protect and enable the addict, becoming fully absorbed by the addict's problems and behavior, until these symptoms become an awful, frightening and vicious cycle.

Treatment centers do a wonderful job for addicts and serve as a focal point for the addict to understand the need to get into a program for recovery.

For the family, there are very few places to turn to for help. Some programs, designed for family members as an offshoot of a treatment program, simply readdress the problems of the addict and do not relate well to the problems faced by the family.

Hina Mauka has established an excellent program to provide family members of addicts with education and support. Hina Mauka has found a method to help families cope with the stress of the addict and to regain control of their lives.

There is a high correlation between parents' attendance at meetings such as these and recovery.

Families are able to share their experiences with other families because they will find many similarities. They'll find that they are not alone in their struggle and that there are resources for help and support.

These are powerful tools.

The Rotary Club of Honolulu is partnering with Hina Mauka and the Harold K.L. Castle Foundation to make meetings for parents and family members available around the island of O'ahu (see accompanying box).

Our goal is to have each meeting site supported by a different Rotary Club in an islandwide Rotary effort in partnership with the Harold K.L. Castle Foundation and Hina Mauka.

Parents, spouses, siblings and other family members struggling with this problem are strongly urged to attend this first meeting, and all Rotarians are urged to tell friends and family who might be interested to attend so that we can give the program the best possible chance of demonstrating how beneficial it can be to families in crisis.

M.P. "Andy" Anderson is the chief executive officer of Hina Mauka Recovery Center.