Posted on: Saturday, January 22, 2005

EXPRESSIONS OF FAITH

By Rev. Buddy Summers

To sustain a compassionate response to last month's earthquake and tsunami devastation takes an enormous amount of energy. I can't do it if I'm barricading myself against the emotional pain that inevitably attends such human tragedy.

Months after my mother died, I hit a wall. Simple pleasures didn't please. Friends' needs no longer evoked my usual caring. Work was a drag.

My wife suggested I needed to work with "the feelings piece." I was incensed. Did she think she knew me better than I knew myself? Besides, I'm a minister. Wouldn't I have done all the right things?

One afternoon, she promised to "guard the door" while I went into the bedroom. My intention was not to come out before I had let the painful feelings of my mother's death move through me. I gathered some stones and stuff and went in to grieve. I rocked, wept, gesticulated, fell silent. Later, I opened the bedroom door and re-entered my life.

Trying to "hold back the sea" of my emotions had drained and desensitized me. Embracing the feelings energized me.

In response to last month's devastation many of us have been very active. We've made donations, urged our representatives to provide generous long-term aid. We've done the church thing. Some of us are starting to wear down. It may be "the feeling piece."

There is so much suffering. If I open myself to this global pain, I'm afraid I will be immobilized. And yet, I've learned that when I try to block the pain, I lose my ability to enjoy simple pleasures, respond to friend's needs, and do my work with any kind of real joy. "The feelings piece" matters.

This isn't about a particular faith or religion. It's about our common humanity.

We are all connected. We are all in this together. I want to help make this a better world. I want to stay in it for the long haul.

I need to go back into my room from time to time and work on "the feelings piece."

As my wife did for me, we can remind each other of this important part of the work. And we can support each other as my wife did when she offered to "guard the door."

The Rev. Buddy Summers is pastor at Christ Church Uniting Disciples and Presbyterians in Kailua. Expressions of Faith welcomes written works from pastors, priests, lay workers and other leaders in faith and spirituality. E-mail faith@honoluluadvertiser.com or call 525-8035. Articles submitted to The Advertiser may be published or distributed in print, electronic or other forms.