But when that loss is unexpected and involves a large number of people, it reaches beyond those immediately affected and spreads to an entire community that is also searching for ways to grieve.

The deaths yesterday of 27 Kane'ohe Bay Marines in a helicopter crash in Iraq will hit their families and close friends the hardest. But the pain also will be felt by neighbors, acquaintances and even others who also lost loved ones recently, experts said.

"For anyone who has had a loss recently or in a similar situation, this is going to trigger emotions for them," said Cheryl Prince, general partner of Employee Assistance of the Pacific and a licensed social worker. "It could have been in Vietnam or in a car accident or even in another helicopter crash. They're all going to be impacted, too."

The most important proactive approach to coping with this tragedy, experts say, is to find healthy ways to express emotions, whether that's talking with a counselor or participating in a vigil to memorialize the dead.

"People may want to show their solidarity," Prince said, "and it's really important for a community to be able to show their feelings about this."

Communities can unite to support in many ways, from raising money to help families to just lowering flags to half-staff.

"This obviously sends incredible shock waves through a community," said Carey Brown, general partner with Employee Assistance of the Pacific and a licensed social worker. "This shows that anything can happen. This brings it very much home."

This kind of tragedy can often trigger guilt or anxiety in people who have loved ones serving in Iraq or Afghanistan who have survived.

But trying to make sense of it won't work, said Martin Johnson, licensed psychologist and a certified expert in traumatic stress.

"The tragedy doesn't make logical sense. There's no logical reason why one helicopter went down and the other one did not," Johnson said. "You just can't make sense out of it. It's important to keep in mind that one's good fortune or luck in no way takes away from or contributes to the tragedy of another's loss. Keeping that clear is very difficult. It's really coming to terms with and accepting the chaos and randomness of it, and that's difficult for anyone to accept."

Sharing these fears and concerns in a supportive atmosphere is an effective way for people to deal with their emotions. But sticking to their normal daily routine is critical in keeping them from being overwhelmed by their feelings.

"Routine is important," Johnson said. "If it gets to the point where they're having trouble functioning in their daily routines — sleeping, eating — that could be a sign that anxiety is starting to overwhelm them. And I would recommend they get professional support."

Children often exhibit the same signs of grief as adults: feeling numb, depressed and angry about what's happened.

Experts recommend that talking with children in a straightforward, honest way is important in helping them cope with and understand death.

"Sometimes when people talk to children about death, they try to sugarcoat it and say things that are well-intentioned, like 'Daddy went to sleep,' " Johnson said. "But that's really not helpful and can be confusing to children."

As of yesterday afternoon, local schools had not yet learned whether their students or staff have been affected by the crash, but campuses with many military dependents already have programs in place to help their students deal with deployed parents and possible tragedies.

At Kainalu Elementary School in Kailua, where a quarter of the children have parents in the military, school counselors have set up a "Miss U" program to help students cope with parental deployment.

The Armed Forces YMCA soon will offer tutoring and the chance to talk about military life and adjusting to their parents' absences.

Another program gives the school's youngest children help with the transition period after their parent has been deployed.

Principal Sheri Sunabe could not comment on whether students or staff have already had to cope with loss, but noted that the deployed soldiers are always in the school community's prayers.

"For some people, prayer is a way of expressing their hope and comfort for others," she said. "I don't mean that our school gets together and prays, but we're here in support because we are their family."