A brief, but lasting friendship

By Stacy Kaneshiro
Advertiser Staff Writer

From a football player he recently befriended, to one he never met, Ikaika Tan's death made an islandwide impact.

Paul Tan, father of the late Ikaika Tan, and 'Aiea High's C.J. Tausaga display a jersey and picture of the Kapolei player killed in a car accident. Eugene Tanner • The Honolulu Advertiser

Kapolei students were joined by those from other schools at Mililani Memorial Park & Mortuary. Some were dressed in their football jerseys, as the obituary requested.

Among them were the wife of Chad Owens, the University of Hawai'i football star whom Tan idolized, and C.J. Tausaga, 'Aiea High's all-state football player who formed a special bond with Tan and did something special upon his death.

Tausaga raised $510 from his school to give to the Tan family.

He also spoke at the funeral, and at a school vigil Sunday night.

No unusual gestures until you realize that Tausaga and Tan met just last month when they were teammates in a postseason goodwill football game. Yet, it was as if they had been lifelong friends.

"His heart is huge," said Ikaika's father, Paul Tan. "I think that's why he and my son got along so well. Like I told my wife, 'When God created them, he split up one heart and gave one (half) to each of them because they're exactly the same inside.'

"When I talk to him (Tausaga), it's like I'm talking to my son."

Their friendship developed during the two weeks of practice for the Dec. 10 game, Tausaga said. Both played the same position and were of similar stature. They got along so well that they even revealed personal matters, such as the birth of Tan's daughter, Riley.

"During practice, he was the first one to come up to me and shake my mind," Tausaga said. "The way he talked to me, it was like I knew him forever. That's what really clicked. I could actually open up to him and he would open up to me. We could talk about life issues, so called dramas. He was a person who would listen to you and help you."

Three days after Tan's death, Tausaga visited the Tan home to offer his condolences.

"He originally wasn't on the list to speak (at the funeral)," Paul Tan said. "But when we started talking, at first I was thinking, 'There's no way he could know (my son) in two weeks.' I thought it was so impressive that they could bond in that time frame."

Tausaga, who also is 'Aiea's senior class president, said it was his decision to take up a collection at his school. He said he wasn't surprised that his fellow students gave with their hearts.

"Many people watched the news, heard Ikaika's name all the time," Tausaga said. "It was really overwhelming for everybody."

Donations came in paper denominations up to $20, as well as in coins collected in a jar. Tausaga said the jar contained about $110. Although he considered changing the coins to paper, he thought otherwise.

"Each coin," he said, "represents each person that gave."

Paul Tan said he was surprised at the attendance of the funeral. He originally planned for food for about 200, but when he heard that there might be more people, he changed the order for 500. He wasn't sure the exact number of people who showed up.

"We lost count at 1,500," he said. "We think it was two (thousand)."

Tausaga said not everyone could fit into the service area. A number of people were standing outside.

Among the attendees was Owens' wife, Rena.

"She apologized that Chad couldn't make it because he was getting ready for the Hula Bowl," Tan said. (The Hula Bowl was played on Maui last week.)

Said Owens: "I told her that she should go on my behalf ... to pay my respects."

The connection with Owens was that Ikaika, who also played slotback, wanted to follow Owens' footsteps, Paul Tan said.

"My son idolized him. He wanted to walk on UH just like he did," Tan said. "That was the route he was trying to go. Because of (Owens') stature, my son knew he had a chance, too."

Ikaika Tan was listed as 5 feet 8 and 160 pounds and Owens is 5-9, 174.

"I was there once, in his exact shoes. Undersized, overlooked," said Owens, who concluded his senior year at UH being named to numerous All-America teams.

Although they never met, Owens said Tan's death "was kind of emotional for me" because of the many similarities.

"He has a month-old child ... he was going to be married," said Owens, who has a 17-month-old son and is expecting another.

Meanwhile, Paul Tan said he is grateful of the support. He is impressed with his son's new friend.

"C.J.'s great," Tan said. "He even brought baby milk for my son's daughter. He genuine. He has a great, great heart."

Tausaga said the memory of Tan might be everlasting, and when graduation day comes in May, the experience will be bittersweet.

"He (Ikaika) told me he would be at my graduation, and I told him I would be at his," Tausaga said. "I will fulfill my promise and I will be at the Kapolei graduation."

Reach Stacy Kaneshiro at skaneshiro@honoluluadvertiser.com or 525-8042.