"When they see us in uniform and the military vehicle, they become extremely alarmed and so emotions can run the gamut," Brown said. There can be denial and shock, anger and an overwhelming sense of grief.

The Navy commander has been on active duty since 1989, is a veteran of Operation Desert Storm, and has made such "casualty assistance" calls before, but this time, with 26 Hawai'i-based Marines and a sailor killed in a helicopter crash Wednesday in Iraq, the enormity was almost too much to bear.

Eight other members of the 1st Battalion, 3rd Marine Regiment, were killed in a suicide car-bomb attack on Oct. 30, and 10 others have been killed in Iraq.

Brown said "without question" the past 72 hours had been the most difficult for him as a chaplain. The same can be said for the Hawai'i base.

"We've lost Marines on two other occasions, and this has been quite numbing — especially with the unit being so close to coming home," Brown said. "It really leaves you pretty numb."

Brown, Col. Jeff Patterson, commander of the 3rd Marine Regiment, and Patterson's wife made the visits.

Although nine of the 27 Hawai'i-based service men killed in the crash of a CH-53E Super Stallion in western Iraq were married, only four of their wives live in Hawai'i. They are the wives of Navy Petty Officer 3rd Class John D. House of Ventura, Calif.; Marine Lance Cpl. Darrell J. Schumann of Hampton, Va.; Lance Cpl. Joseph B. Spence of Scotts Valley, Calif.; and Cpl. Timothy A. Knight of Brooklyn, Ohio.

Three were new fathers. Family members said Spence and his wife, Elisabeth, became parents to a girl born in September; Knight and his wife, Gina, had a daughter six months ago; and House's wife, Melanie, gave birth to a son on Christmas Eve.

The four women are being supported by chaplains, grief counselors, and a "key volunteer network" of other spouses.

The Schumann family in Virginia heard about the helicopter crash killing all 31 aboard and prepared for the worst. The crew was from the 3rd Marine Aircraft Wing, based at Marine Corps Air Station Miramar in San Diego.

Richmon Schumann, 28, Darrell's brother, said the Hawai'i Marines were going to be in Iraq for 10 more days. They were on their last mission before they were expected to head to Kuwait, get on a ship for Okinawa, Japan, and be back in Hawai'i in early April.

"We knew he was going to be flying, was being taken out of Fallujah, and was flying somewhere else," Richmon Schumann said.

The helicopter crash took place at 1:20 a.m. near Rutbah, a corner of Iraq that touches the Syrian and Jordanian borders. The region has been a crossing point for foreign insurgents entering Iraq.

The cause wasn't immediately clear, although there was bad weather in the area. A second helicopter flying nearby reported no hostile fire.

"They probably thought they were giving the guys a break," Richmon Schumann said. "They were doing some of the heaviest fighting in (Fallujah), and they probably said, 'You know what, we'll send you, you do border patrol and curfew enforcement and a little bit of pulling security, and you'll go home.' "

He'll remember his only brother as a very creative person who built computers, was a video-game "nut," loved the Marine Corps and believed in what he was doing in Iraq.

"Nights are tough," he said. "During the day you stay occupied enough to where it's not as bad. When everyone goes home, it's the toughest."

The death notifications have been repeated around the country as families were told of their losses from the deadliest day for U.S. forces in Iraq since the war began. Six other Marines and soldiers were killed elsewhere in Iraq on Wednesday.

In making the notifications, Brown said "since there's a sense of being out of control with what's happened, you try to allow them (family members) to go where they want to go."

"We don't go with an agenda," he said. "We go dealing with whatever they want to deal with."

The most important thing is to make them aware that they are not alone in their pain and suffering and loss, he said.

"We try to encourage them as much as possible to externalize their feelings, to internalize their faith, and also to eternalize their hope," Brown said.

The four wives here are planning on returning to the Mainland to make funeral arrangements and will return in three to four weeks, Brown said.

A service will be held for House, the sailor killed in the crash, on Thursday at the Pearl Harbor chapel. A service for the Marines is expected to be held the first week in March.

"I think everyone is coping extremely well under the circumstances. There's been a tremendous outpouring of support base-wide and also from the local community as well," Brown said. "My phone is jumping off the hook with people who want to do things for the unit and their families."