Based on a video game, which has to be more fun than this idiotic mess, "Alone in the Dark" has a renegade paranormal investigator (Christian Slater) fighting monsters that have come through a portal from another dimension, thanks to an ancient, now-extinct tribe.

You know you're in trouble when the film needs an opening scroll that's about three times as long as any that starts a "Star Wars" movie. (It's probably the instruction book that comes with the "Alone in the Dark" game.) There's also a lot of voiceover, with more explanations, and that was probably added as an afterthought when it was clear the movie made no sense.

Video games, of course, are short on character and lack subtlety in storytelling, and it shows here. Each scene is obviously a level of the game and involves lots of shooting at monsters, like targets in an arcade. Even these scenes lack emotion, since they're edited by Cuisinart.

The acting is absolutely awful and amateurish, especially from unknown supporting players and Tara Reid. Slater and Stephen Dorff are a bit more capable, probably because they've done it a few more times before.