Q. My husband and I hang out with another couple that has two kids. They've been together for six years, but he refuses to marry her. I get the feeling he assumes she won't leave him since she needs help financially with the kids. Since they are not married, she is not covered by his work insurance. (God forbid something should happen and she gets sick and cannot afford medical attention.)

She has casually mentioned her frustrations, not only with the lack of ring on her finger but the embarrassment of having different last names for their children. She can't even think of the last time he has told her, "I love you."

I don't want to intrude, but have asked my husband to say something since he is closer with the father. Am I overstepping my boundaries?

—Concerned Girlfriend

A. Yes and no. While it's not your business per se, she is your friend and you hate to see her disrespected. But guess what? The answer lies in her learning to respect herself. No one forced her to have two children with a man who refuses to marry her and is emotionally distant. Tell your friend to get her mousy self to a local support group and muster up the inner strength she so needs.

Q. I was appalled at your advice to the poor little Miss Priss who was afraid to go away with her boyfriend for the weekend because she might have to poop.

Instead of having her go through all these different machinations (like finding a public bathroom and blame someone else for the smell, roll up a towel and put it in the space under the door, and lie about it being for her sauna), why didn't you just tell her to stay constipated for the weekend? Or better yet, why not remind her that everybody poops, and if her boyfriend cannot handle her using the potty, and then using a scented spray or lighting a match, then this is not the man for her. I'm sure any guy enjoying a wonderfully sensual relationship with a lovely lady knows that every once in a while she might have to pee and to poop.

Big deal.

—Karl

A. Thank you for your very male words. Yes, we gals realize that we all pee and poop, and we should promptly break up with any man who does not allow us to do so, but that doesn't help calm the jitters of sharing a hotel room for the first time. Our little sauna trick — which masks the audio as well as the odor, and gives us a nice rosy glow to boot — helps keep the romance alive.

Why share too much information too soon if you don't have to?

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