Are you a stay-at-home mom trying to successfully balance your life? Julie Stewart, president of the MOMS Club of Waipahu/'Aiea, offers the following 10 tips:

1. Your child should be your focus — not the housework, the television, the phone, the e-mail or the part-time job. Sometimes we get caught up in the daily routine of running the house. Forget the fantasy that your house will be clean because you are home. In fact, quite the opposite! When you are home all of the time with children, messes will be made, and there is always time to clean up later. If you do need to do housework while your children are present, find ways to involve them.

2. If you are new to being a stay at home mom, there is an adjustment period. It takes time to explore the stay-at-home mom community and to get comfortable in your new role. After all, you are redefining yourself in a major way, especially if you have left a career. Also, get rid of any stereotypes you have of stay-at-home moms. Once you start meeting other moms, you will find that they are just like you.

3. Find a support group and a network. Getting connected will help eliminate the feeling of isolation, and provide social contacts for you and your children. Find a play group or explore community events for children.

4. Get out of the house and participate in activities that you and your child can enjoy. There are all kinds of parent-tot classes and activities that you and your child can do together, from swim classes, gymnastics, and music and art classes. This is also a great way to expose your child to different things and to learn where their interests lie.

5. Find time for yourself. Exercise, read, or better yet, get out of the house and participate in something you enjoy — play sports, such as softball, tennis or golf; have dinner with girlfriends; get a pedicure/manicure.

6. Explore options for keeping your professional skills sharp. Look into part-time work from home, a home-based business or volunteer. Many volunteer positions require management and communication skills that are important in the working world. It also helps you preserve your own identity and provides the rewards one gets from the working world. Of course, the downside is that these activities have to fit in around the "edges" of your full-time job — your children! I have a part-time grant writing job that allows me to work from home, and I only work when my daughter is napping or after she has gone to bed at night.

7. Make sure you reserve time for your spouse without the children. It is still extremely important to have a healthy relationship with your spouse to provide stability and security for your children. Have "date night" and get a babysitter, or ask friends and family to help with the kids.

8. Find help during the day with the kids. As part of your network, find a friend with whom you can swap babysitting or find a teen who can help with the kids during the day.

9. If schedules allow, split the evening routine with your spouse. This will give your spouse some one-on-one time with your child and you a much needed break at the end of the day. Or, ask you spouse to take the kids for a couple of hours on the weekend to give you a break.

10. Finally, trust your instincts. Have confidence that the choice you have made to stay home is best for your child and your family. This is a highly personal decision and one that each woman must make for herself and her family, with the support of her spouse. On the tough days, remember that things have a way of working out and that your child will never be small again.