True, no one's seen "The Dukes of Hazzard" yet, but does anyone really expect anything from "The Dukes of Hazzard"? "Stealth," meanwhile, has Oscar-winner Jamie Foxx in his first movie since winning the gold.

Jamie, we feel your pain. Everyone will understand that you signed on to this big glob of glop before gaining "Serious Actor" status. Well, most everyone. It should become obvious when folks see that you're not even the star, just a third banana sidekick without even one decent line of dialogue.

Then again, decent lines of dialogue are few and far between in this cornball melding of "Top Gun" and "Space Odyssey." Decent anything is hard to find, although there are some completely inappropriate, vaguely satisfying shots of Jessica Biel in a bikini.

Yes, this is a story of jet pilots in which one of the pilots wears a bikini. That may be a first.

The plot: Three hotshot Navy pilots, the best in the business, are teamed with a fourth aircraft that's controlled by its computers. The three are Ben Gannon (Josh Lucas), Kara Wade (Biel) and Henry Purcell (Foxx). They are commanded by Capt. George Cummings (Sam Shepard, now officially without a soul).

Here's a surprise: Things don't go as planned with the robot plane. It develops its own attitude and decides to go off on a bombing spree. It says all sorts of creepy things in that same monotone computer voice that Hal used in "2001" more than 30 years ago (guess technology really hasn't changed that much). And our three heroes have to go chasing after the renegade robot plane.

This does not work out all that well for our heroes, although it does provide director Rob Cohen ("XXX: State of the Union," and yes, that explains a great deal) with an opportunity to blow lots of stuff up and spend way too much time trying to top all those "Top Gun" aerial stunts from 20 years ago.

To go beyond this point would give away too much. Let's just say a sweaty Biel ends up shooting it out single-handedly against hundreds of bloodthirsty soldiers, but no, she isn't wearing a bikini at the time. This movie is full of disappointments.

Actually, "Stealth" is such a cheesefest — even the musical score is noticeably trite — that it may eventually become a cult movie, one of those so-bad-it's-good things you watch at home while throwing popcorn at the tube.

But wait for that home viewing. "Stealth" does not deserve your box office money, it does not deserve the minutes of your life. It is the filmic embodiment of all that is indulgent, gratuitous and downright dumb in pop culture. Even a bikini can't save it.