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The Honolulu Advertiser

Posted on: Friday, June 3, 2005

Advice with sass

 •  Mom's about to succumb to bratty daughter's wants

By Catherine E. Toth
Advertiser Staff Writer

Tara Solomon has heard it all.

Tara Solomon writes The Advice Diva, a syndicated column that runs in more than 50 U.S. newspapers, including this section every Friday starting today.

AL DIAZ • Knight Ridder News Service


"I think people are hungry for someone who can just speak to them. It's like girlfriend talk."

Tara Solomon | a.k.a. the Advice Diva

From flatulent boyfriends to fashion-challenged wives to a guy who has an obsession with vinegar.

And she's not afraid to tell it like it is. Or at least how it should be.

Six years ago, Solomon starting dishing her from-the-hip guidance in a column aptly named The Advice Diva. The syndicated column runs in more than 50 newspapers nationally, including in this section every Friday starting today.

She can tell you how to let your boss know she's got food in her teeth — "If she doesn't catch on, you're left with a few options such as tinted glasses or mind-control techniques" — or where to take your boyfriend out for his birthday — "Rethink all theme-oriented outings and any plans that involve bowling, driving more than 30 minutes or restaurants that offer a children's menu" — and she'll never claim to be an expert on life.

But she does want to help.

"Advice columns make you realize that your problems aren't unique and, quite often, are rather easy to solve," said the younger-than-her-age 46-year-old who admits to an obsession with "The O.C." "It's always easier to get an accurate read on the situation from someone who is not emotionally involved."

And Solomon prides herself on being that person. The girlfriend you confide to over martinis.

"I'm an extremely direct person, but I don't think I'm blunt," Solomon said. "I like to say I'm diplomatic ... I try to balance the toughness with compassion,

because it's easy to pull a Dr. Laura. That's the easy way out, and that never really accomplishes lasting results.

"I think people are hungry for someone who can just speak to them," she added. "It's like girlfriend talk."

Once a woman wrote to her about her Aunt Ida who had taken up knitting — and gave her every ugly, unimaginable knit item. "How do I tell her that my expensive modern kitchen doesn't require a two-toned orange toaster cover and matching tea cozy?" the woman asked in desperation. "Do you have any advice for my unusual dilemma?"

Solomon's response: "Save your guilt for higher moral offenses and stash the appliance knitwear in an Aunt Ida drawer that you can open, reflect upon when needed, then shut. Were we you, we'd buy Aunt Ida chocolate and cream wool yarn and request a 1970s-esque afghan for the sofa."

It's that simple.

"The Advice Diva doesn't hold back, and readers like my 'tell it like it is' advice," Solomon said. "But I also like to have fun with the column, and I hope that shows."

Becoming a columnist was a natural career progression for Solomon, who previously had written a beauty/fashion column — "I started getting all these elderly women writing in about discontinued rub-on lipsticks in orange ... I thought, 'This is crazy.' " — and the popular "Queen of the Night" column for the Miami Herald.

In fact, that last gig really revved her interest in column-writing. It gave her the opportunity to flex her creative muscles and rub shoulders with mega-A-listers including Madonna, Lenny Kravitz, Michael Douglas and Gloria Estefan.

The success of the column — and the many connections she made — prompted her to start her own business. Tara Ink., started in January 2001 with fiance Nick D'Annunzio, is a public relations and creative-marketing firm based in Miami Beach and Los Angeles. Her client roster includes such superstar clients as Louis Vuitton, Christian Dior Couture, Evian, Cadillac, Hermés and M.A.C.

And if that doesn't fill her BlackBerry, Solomon also is working toward a dual master's degree in mental health and marriage/family counseling at Barry University, freelancing as a fashion columnist and style director for People en Espa–ol, and serving as a mentor for the Miami-based Women of Tomorrow program.

Every month, Solomon works out of her Los Angeles offices. At least four nights a week, she's out at some event or party she's planned. Between her day job at Tara Ink. and The Advice Diva column, she's lucky to get in some quality shut-eye.

Calling her busy is an understatement.

"It's every girl's modern dilemma," she said. "Trying to balance career demands and personal needs without becoming homicidal."

But she'll never give up the column, even sacrificing her eBay therapy time to write it.

"I like to shut out the world and get into a quiet space to write The Advice Diva," she said. "I'm usually writing it very late at night ... There is something so wonderful about writing when you know that the phones are not going to ring."

With her hectic schedule — and a penchant for time-consuming hobbies like traveling around Europe — time management is a recent skill she's had to hone. It doesn't help that she's a perfectionist-turned-micromanager.

How does Solomon, who makes a living dishing out advice to others, handle her own problems?

"I'll ask myself," she said,

" 'What would the Advice Diva say?' "

Reach Catherine E. Toth at 535-8103 or ctoth@honoluluadvertiser.com.