Posted on: Sunday, June 5, 2005
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Editor's note: Leilani Moody, 17, graduated with honors from Mid-Pacific Institute in May. The captain of the school tennis team, she was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis when she was 13. She writes about the positives, such as strengthening family bonds, that dealing with a disease can bring.
By Leilani Moody
Special to The Advertiser
Trying to define oneself is like trying to bite your own ear. It is utterly impossible to reach, akin to the farthest star in the galaxy. Most often people will agree that they have not been able to uncover their own true character, yet through my experiences I've learned that self is not something one finds.
Self is something one creates by utilizing the qualities that exist in each of us and how those qualities work their way out.
Being diagnosed with multiple sclerosis has been a quality that has led to understanding myself. I now breathe through each wonderful day as if I were slowly being born.
• 400,000 Americans acknowledge having multiple sclerosis.
• The Hawai'i chapter of the National MS Society provides services and programs to more than 600 people with MS and their families. • For more information, call the Hawai'i division of the National Multiple Sclerosis Society at 532-0811.
Source: The Queen's Medical Center It happened first when I was attending an all-girls school four years ago. I was a 13-year-old freshman when I was told I had multiple sclerosis.
My reaction was typical of a juvenile: fear of encountering death at an early stage, raging anger at myself and the illness, acrid depression of the fact that it will remain with me eternally like a shadow.
For a while I felt the world had stopped rotating, becoming frozen in time, just to cage me in my misery. It was not until I was lost in this emotional storm did I truly begin to value myself and my capabilities.
I began to approach life with more enthusiasm, concern and passion. I assembled the audacity to recognize my flaws and a determination to be rid of them.
A perfect exemplar was being 20 pounds overweight at age 14, and becoming increasingly unhealthier.
My diet was terrible. It consisted of a constant, large consumption of carbohydrates and meats, with the rare company of vegetables and fruit. Sugar was an item I desired every day.
Fortunately, this eating routine was altered dramatically after the diagnosis. I played tennis at least four times a week, an hour or two each practice. Before I knew it, I had lost 25 pounds and looked and felt as great as ever!
• Bladder dysfunction • Dizziness and vertigo • Fatigue • Difficulty in walking • Loss of muscle strength in arms and legs • Loss of balance and coordination • Spasticity • Blurred vision • Pain • Mood changes/depression • Sexual dysfunction Source: The Queen's Medical Center Not only did I change physically, mentally I focused more on achieving in school.
I gained a greater desire to absorb my education like a sponge, knowing that this information will only lead to greater knowledge in life. I was motivated to read various books, which taught different aspects of life and death. Deriving from these books was a common reminder that we all must continue to persist and believe in life, in which I am determined to live by.
Everyone has the determination to attain their goals and desires. A person can travel the world over and over again, in search of what is needed, when all he really needs to do is return home to find it.
Luckily, thanks to MS, my family ties have reached the heights of their strength and continue to remain strong.
If I ever have feelings of loneliness or being unappreciated, all I need to do is run to the arms of my father where I can receive all my emotional needs freely. My illness has simply taught us, as a daughter and as a father, to be grateful for one another, thus strengthening the family morals, values, and most importantly, love.
The impact of MS has made dramatic changes in my life, and all for the better.
It has been a gift and treasure given specifically to me, in hopes of maintaining a strong perseverance through difficulties. It reminds me to keep in mind that I am supported by the love of my family, encouraged to fight for my goals with my determination, and never to underestimate my inner power.
Walking hand in hand with MS, I will give this world the best that I have — myself.
I've learned that just when I believe I have learned the way to live, life changes.
Multiple Sclerosis facts
The awareness of my physical health increased, as well as my confidence.
Common MS Symptoms
