Posted on: Monday, June 6, 2005

ABOUT MEN

By Peter Boylan
Advertiser Staff Writer

One of the first stories I ever wrote for The Advertiser was about two young men who got drunk and decided to speed home. The car's 19-year-old driver lost control on Ala Moana boulevard, crossed the center line and smashed into an SUV.

Both the 19-year-old and his 21-year-old passenger were killed.

I spoke with the driver's uncle and the passenger's brother days after the deaths. Both agonized over the frustration of young life lost.

"I think it was a stupid and senseless way for them to go," the brother said after learning they were drunk.

I have since written about many more members of my generation, usually young men ages 18 to 28, who have decided to drink and drive. Many have killed themselves. The really unlucky ones have killed others and survived.

I've sat in courtrooms and watched victims' family members lose their composure while asking a judge to punish an individual's abuse of alcohol because it took a loved one's life. I've watched the alcohol abuser sit mute, the guilt crushing him.

These tragedies play out daily, and most of us shake our heads and shrug it off because it wasn't our friend, brother, or son. But I have seen the physical and emotional devastation up close, and it hurts, no matter how hard you try to objectively report the situation.

One life is over, and countless others ruined, and for what? Some testosterone-fed bravado? According to a 2003 study conducted by the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration, men are more likely than women to be driving at the time of a fatal crash, and male drivers were twice as likely to have been intoxicated (24 percent) than female drivers (12 percent).

I think it is important to stress that I'm a 25-year-old man who drinks occasionally. But I don't drive drunk, not after what I've seen and what I've been forced to write about.

This is the time of year I run across a lot of graduation announcements. It's time to celebrate. Inevitably, somebody will have too much to drink.

But if you're celebrating, considering this advice my graduation gift to you: Don't drink, particularly if you're underage. Believe me, police are not letting kids walk this summer for drinking underage. They won't ask you to dump out the beer and leave the park or follow you home after they pull you over and realize you're drunk.

You will be ticketed, and you will be arrested. It's not only expensive, but it remains on your record, something you don't want to explain during a job interview.

First-time offenders face a fine of $150 to $1,000, a mandatory 14 hours of counseling for substance abuse, 72 hours of community service, a 90-day suspension of license, plus a night in jail.

Take a cab, tap a designated driver, or if you're not 21, don't drink. Driving in Honolulu is treacherous enough sober — and I'm tired of writing about dead kids.

Reach Peter Boylan at 535-8110 or pboylan@honoluluadvertiser.com.