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The Honolulu Advertiser

Posted on: Wednesday, June 8, 2005

Team up with your kid for an activity

By Laurie Githens Hatch
Gannett News Service

There's rarely any ramp-up to it: Your kid comes downstairs one day, you ask whether he wants to go do something, and he gives you a return look of utter revulsion — "What?"

There you are.

Your days of chumming around suddenly seem over, gone with the wind that once cooled your foreheads as you emerged from Mommy & Me class, sweaty and full of giggles and ready for — sigh — a Fig Newton and nap.

But it doesn't have to be that way. Having fun and bonding with older kids is possible, even when they hit the please-pretend-you-don't-know-me phase.

With a little sleuthing, you can usually find an activity or class to suit you both — and the payoff is huge.

Be it dance, yoga, art or cooking, the right parent-kid class can ease an awkward adolescence transition in family life.

"Parent-child classes are really an incredible way to bond with children, instead of sitting on the sidelines," says Stacy DeBroff, author of "Sign Me Up: The Parents' Complete Guide to Sports, Activities, Music Lessons, Dance Classes and Other Extracurriculars" (Free Press).

Other benefits of parent-kid activities in grade and middle-school years:

• They guarantee one-on-one time in a family calendar that rapidly fills with must-do's.

• They allow parents to pursue something they've always loved — yoga or karate, for example.

• They also give parents an excuse to relax and play, which many admit they've simply forgotten how to do.

Getting started isn't so hard: Try asking your child what one activity he or she would do every week or two with you, if he could. Then call around and scan the Internet to find a way you both can do it.

Art is a good place to start. After all, who doesn't like playing with paints or clay?

If more physical play is what your kid is into, look for an activity you both can do, where your age and strength won't turn it into a competition and leave the child feeling inadequate.

Yoga, swimming, outdoor living skills are possibilities. Nearly every community has plenty of the family-styled classes available.

In an increasingly tradition-deprived society, cooking classes can also fill a togetherness void while helping elders pass along Old World recipes and techniques.

Whatever the activity, experts agree that in order to keep it going, parents should let it become whatever it will become, and not mold it into what they think it ought to be.